Daily Jokes from SydesJokes for 13 Oct 2017

sydesjokes (64)in #jokes • 7 years ago

Joke 1

The soul is healed by being with children

SydesJokes Daily Digest

Joke 2

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Joke 3

A surgeon went to check on his very blonde patient after an operation. She was awake, so he examined her thoroughly and told her that she could expect a complete recovery. She asked him, "How long will it be before I can resume a normal sex life again, Doctor?" The surgeon seemed to pause, which alarmed the girl. "What's the matter, Doctor? I will be all right, won't I?"

He replied, " Yes, you'll be fine. It's just that no one has ever asked me that after having their tonsils out."

Joke 4

Q: What did one flower say to the other flower?
A: Hey, bud!

Joke 5

A husband and wife went to the fairgrounds. The wife wanted to go on the Ferris wheel, but the husband wasn't comfortable with that. So the wife went on the ride by herself.

The wheel went round and round and suddenly the wife was thrown out and landed in a heap at her husband's feet.

Are you hurt? he asked.

Of course I'm hurt! she replied. "Three times around and you didn't wave once!"

Joke 6

The phone rang and the lady picked it up ... It was a salesman from a Mortgage refinance company. "Do you have a second mortgage on your home?"

No, she replied.

Would you like to consolidate all your debts?

I really don't have any, she said.

How about freeing up cash for home improvements? he tried.

I don't need any. I just recently had some done and paid cash, she parried.

There was a brief silence, and then he asked, "Are you looking for a Husband?"

Joke 7

Three old men went into the pro shop after playing 18 holes of golf.

The pro asked, "Did you guys have a good game today?"

The first old guy said, " I had the most riders ever. I had five."

The second old guy said, "I had 7 riders, the same as last time."

The last old man said, "I beat my old record. I had 12 riders today."

After they went into the locker room, another golfer who had heard the old guys talking about their game went to the pro and said, "I've been playing golf for a long time and thought I knew all the terminology of the game, but what's a rider?"

The pro said, "A rider is when you hit the ball far enough to actually get in the golf cart and ride to it."

Joke 8

Q: What is a baby's motto?
A: If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!

Lao Tzu

SydesJokes Daily Digest