10 .Dark Jokes for Anyone with a Sense of Humor

I don’t have a carbon footprint.
I just drive everywhere.

The most corrupt CEOs are those of the pretzel companies.
They’re always so twisted.

When we were kids, we used to be afraid of the dark.
But when we grew up, the electricity bill made us afraid of the light!

What did the asteroid that killed the dinosaurs say?
“T. rex, I’m coming for my hug!”

An apple a day keeps the doctor away…
Or at least it does if you throw it hard enough.

I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was just a kid.

I visited my friend at his new house. He told me to make myself at home.
So I threw him out. I hate having visitors.

I was playing chess with my friend and he said, “Let’s make this interesting.”
So we stopped playing chess.

Why did Mozart hate all of his chickens?
When he asked them who the best composer was, they all replied, “Bach, Bach, Bach.”

The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick, but I accidentally passed her a glue stick.
She still isn’t talking to me.