Don’t trust atoms, they make up everything.  

Leave a message, and if it's reality, I will call you back.  

Mentally ill people laugh constantly when they are at the point where they can no longer distinguish reality from their delusions.  

René Descartes walks into a bar. Bartender asks if he wants anything. … René says, “I think not,” then disappears.

"There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.  There is another theory which states that this has already happened." (Douglas Adams)  

"The Hell Law says that Hell is reserved exclusively for those who believe in it. Further, the Lowest Ring in Hell is reserved for those who believe in it on the supposition that they’ll go there if they don’t." (Principia Discordia)