[SARCASM] How To Gain A Lot Of Weight [SARCASM]

Wanna know how to be fat in just a few years? You've come to the right place. Here is how to become fat in just a few years.

Step 1. During breakfast, you gotta eat a bagel, a huge *** bagel with a lot of butter. And to the point that it'll make the bagel look really ugly. Also, remember to eat cereal on the other hand, and eat a bagel on the other hand.

Step 2. After breakfast, go to school/workplace, and wait until its lunch. Eat your lunch and ask other people for their lunch, and eat it as well. When walking back home, go to your nearest deli store and buy food. Eat that as well.

Step 3. Go back to home and someone might've cooked a large meal for you. Eat all of that too. Then ask for 2nds, maybe even 3rd, and 4ths. Just eat until you're unbelievably full. If there's no one at home for you to cook buy take-out. LOTS OF TAKE-OUT.

Step 4. When your parent are at home, wait until it's dinner time. When dinner's ready, you get rice, AND A LOT OF MEAT, BROCCOLI, MAYBE EVEN SOME OF DAT TOFU.

Step 5. After eating dinner, take a rest and eat a big bowl of cereal while watching tv or Youtube.

Step 6. After showering and stuff, eat even more stuff.

Step 7. Go to bed, smuggle your pillows and bed with candy.

Step 8. RINSE AND REPEAT.

If you don't want to read all of these. Sleep and Eat all day, everyday.