My Healing Angel Encounter for Supernatural Writing Contest (SWC)

My 'supernatural encounter' was a visit from an Angel when I was in my 30's which I am sure saved my life and most definitely led to validation and clarity on my life path.
Let me start with the events that led to the gift that I was given some 25 years ago. It started from a tragic event, but please read on.

When I was 34 my brother died, he was 37. Nothing can prepare you for the shock that lays the grief journey at your feet. The path is painful beyond anything I could have ever anticipated. Another emotion for me was irrational fear that I would lose my children or husband...this type of fear is quite common when someone close to you dies young. While this path is not one I would wish for anyone to walk, it was a journey that led me to more Love, peace, joy, and healing than I had ever believed possible.
I came to realize how utterly lost I was and ironically this was also the catalyst to be found, healed, and Loved in ways I had stubbornly and steadfastly rejected. Please bear with me while I share a bit of the back story that led to my Angel encounter.

Richard was my brother, my friend, my protector, and in many ways my father figure when we were young. I idolized him and adored that he gave me away at my wedding saying, "Take good care of her." to my husband. He was my safe place when I was young. The only male in my life that I could depend on and trust not to harm me during my tumultuous teenage years.

When I was 25, my best friends husband committed suicide. He was a good friend of my husbands and my brothers so we were all there to support her in those early months and beyond. My brother and I made a pact during this period. It was that no matter what happened or how bad we ever felt, we would ALWAYS call each other before we resorted to any drastic decision to harm ourselves or if we felt suicidal. We promised and swore that we would never break the pact.

Richard kept the pact, he did call me. He called me twice as a matter of fact. The first call was a message on my machine that said, "Hey you, I Love you. Aren't you ever home?" The second one was a message left with my daughter. He told her he Loved her and said, "Tell your mom that I Love her, don't forget to tell her that I really Love her."
I tried To call him, I knew...I just knew something was wrong. I sat at our kitchen table and told my husband that, "I really need to get a hold of Richard. I am really worried." I received the earth shattering call early the next morning. Nothing can prepare a person for a call like this...I was unable to answer my phone for at least 2 years after that morning. That is the truth. My Mom still doesn't answer her phone, it always goes to her machine and I completely get it.
So began the journey through the painfully grim grief, guilt, and ultimately the greatest gift I could have ever imagined.

When a Loved one dies it is very common to hear, smell, feel, and even see things that are or at least seem to be signs of communication. This happened a lot…smells and even hearing his cough and also feeling him. I really felt him a lot. There were numerous ‘communications’ which can be written off by many as coincidences or coping mechanisms, but most were so very real. I began to journal and I wrote them all down along with dreams and so many things I wanted to say to him. One of my early dreams was him telling me,
“It is not your time.
Time does not matter, and
There is no time.”
That was a very 'timely' message from him or my higher self or God because I was feeling like I could not survive and that my family would be better off without me.
These ‘communications’ are normal things that I have heard from other bereaved and I don’t consider them SUPER NATURAL. I consider them to be very natural for many who experience the death of a Loved one.
The turning point for me was when I was so down, depressed, and feeling utterly lost. I truly could not have held on if not for my amazing and supportive husband and my 2 children who I Love beyond words. I knew that I could not do anything that would cause them this kind of pain. I had not reached a point where I was willing to believe in “God” , as a matter of fact I would immediately toss any book that had “God” talk in it.
I was an avid reader, but allowing or not allowing certain words or concepts is very stunting to spiritual growth. It was at this point that a power greater than myself stepped in and saved me from the Hell I had condemned myself to endure as I was consumed by guilt and grief...enter my Healing Angel Encounter.

THE HEALING ANGEL ENCOUNTER
It happened on a particularly hard night. My husband was sleeping soundly next to me and the kids were asleep also. I was laying there crying softly and had a severe migraine. I just began saying, “Help me, help me, please help me!!” All of a sudden there was a small ball of light in my closet, bright glowing light. I felt really scared, but as soon as I felt that fear getting stronger, I heard a voice say, “Don’t be afraid.” For some reason I was instantly calm and the ball of pulsing light grew larger and floated toward me. It began to take a shape…somewhat like a human but pure white light, beautiful luminous energy surrounding what I thought must be my brother, Richard. It covered me, surrounded me, filled me. It was the most LOVE, PEACE, Comfort, I had ever felt. My migraine was instantly gone along with all of my pain on every level…every pain. Both physical and mental pain was gone instantly in that moment.
I still have a hard time explaining how amazing this felt. Mere words can not do it justice. It was clearly a miracle then and I still believe it was a miracle 25 years later. An angel sent to hold, Love, and heal this simple mortal 3D human…I mean, wow, it was certainly a miracle for me, but there was more. The next thing that happened was a gift that has carried me through many rough spots in this life. Just as I was thinking I don’t want this feeling to ever end or leave, the voice said, “I will come twice.” And then it was gone…poof, the light was gone, but the feeling was not. Something had touched me to my core and ……………
My life was changed forever. A new door had opened and I was now willing to step through it.

The next day I saw a woman on a talk show, her name was Marianne Williamson and she was talking about a book she had written titled, ‘A Return to Love’. What she was saying was everything I felt. Love, Love, Love!!! I ordered the book and when it arrived I read it in one day. It was filled with the most validating words and feelings I had ever come across. My journals were full of these concepts except she also talked about…GOD. But I did not toss this book, this was what my heart had always felt and known. Love is always the solution.

I began opening my mind and heart in ways I had not believed possible. The miracles began showing up everywhere I turned. People, places, opportunities. I had turned a corner and around that corner was HOPE. Don’t get me wrong, I had a lot of healing to do. The path was not always perfect, pristine, smooth, straight, or gentle. The path had not changed, my attitude had, my willingness had, my intention had.
When times got tough, I would remember the message, “I will come twice” and it always reminded me that there are miracles everywhere.

I experienced a gift, a transformational miraculous gift. I am 100% positive that GOD LOVE touched me and illuminated a path for me that has filled my life with true Love…something I had been chasing my entire life.
That search manifested in alcohol, drugs, and promiscuity when I was a teen. My Angel experience opened the door to a universe of Love, forgiveness, hope, trust, compassion, optimism, and the belief that anything is possible.
It also gave me the courage I needed to follow my heart as a Wife, Mother, Birth Midwife, friend, and now a Transition Midwife…things that have been an honor to be called to and have filled my heart to overflowing joy numerous times.

Thank you @jerrybanfield for challenging me to write this cherished part of my life journey here on earth.
I truly hope that it will be inspiring to someone, somewhere, someday. It is 100% true. Miracles are real and they can happen to anyone. I believe we are going to see humanity nurture and embrace many miracles as we participate in and witness a paradigm shift here on earth.
May ALL souls be released from suffering.

Peace and Love, Cheryl @cvmidwife