The Awakening Trip - Supernatural Writing Contest (Jerry Bandfield)

Hello Steemit Family
I am not one to disclose things about myself to the world, but as part of this new path that I am taking, I feel that it is important to expand and share our experiences with each other in order to gain a better understanding of our human existence in this world. Soooo here we go. For those who do not know me, I have led a very straight arrow path in life, for the most part. Always being focused on the “right things” in order to achieve success in life. Work hard, get good grades to go to a good college and get a good job, buy a house, get married, have children and live happily ever after. Check. Check. Check. All checks. But one of those checks was the beginning of my awakening process, which is now 7 years in the making. It was meeting my husband. I believed I had life all figured out. What else could I need? What else could there be? I was single, no children, amazing gratifying career in healthcare helping others which was exactly what I envisioned myself doing, my own home, car ect. I manifested the vision of the woman I wanted to become, living my purpose. I was happy. I was comfortable. Work, home, friends, reality tv, the usual. Until we met.

Our love story is a whirlwind that is a book in itself, but for the purpose of highlighting the important role it has played in my life, I am going to focus on the aspects which challenged my conventional way of thinking. My husband and I are soulmates, but opposites in almost every way possible. I have always been a type A personality, disciplined, reserved, logical, play by the rules individual. My husband is a free spirit, creative musician, lax, go with the flow person. We have always challenged each other, and have made each other better over the years because of it, learning and growing from experiences together. However, some of the differences were very foreign to me. One of the first “crazy” concepts that was introduced were the government conspiracy theories, FEMA camps, the elite controlling the people, ect. I remember thinking how absurd it was. Why would the government do such a thing? Who are these crazy people coming up with this stuff? Why is my husband listening to this and believe it? I had so many questions. And it didn’t stop there. More and more new information and concepts continued to arise. Sacred geometry, numerology, astrology, meditation, health consciousness, spiritual consciousness and the list goes on. The more information I was exposed to the more it made me question my existence.

This was not an easy road. Honestly, I didn’t think deeply into these concepts until our first daughter was born. In retrospect, I can now admit that I quietly endured a period of postpartum depression no one but myself and my husband knew about. I was in complete denial at the time. I could not understand why I felt detached but so emotional at the same time. It was a very difficult period in my life. A time of great change. I was now a mother, something I always envisioned and wanted. But what did that really mean? I was responsible for another life, a life that I had created, that was completely vulnerable and dependent on me to mold them and guide them thru life. This was my first Awakening Experience. Giving birth to my daughter, no epidural, feeling every contraction, every push, every tear as she entered this world through me as her vessel was unlike anything else I had ever experienced. My daughter is the embodiment of me truly moving forward towards adulthood and consciousness. This is the 5th dimensional spiritual significance she carries. But I could not see or understand this at the time. And at the same time, I was also a caregiver to my ill parents, and mother in law, an ER nurse, step mother, new mother, wife and woman. Too many different roles arguably almost leading two different lives. At work I am a very competent, dominant, secure, funny girl, who in spite of her personal hardships always carried herself to a high standard. But at home, my reality was a confused, insecure, scared, soft spoken girl. This begged me to ask the questions who was I? Who am I? What am I doing here?

The clashing of the two worlds were getting very difficult to bear. The more we learned at home, the more it made me question and reject the current structure of society and work. Health is huge in my family. We value health as one of the most important aspects in taking care ourselves and having the proper knowledge to make the appropriate food choices. Converting to veganism was the most radical change that crossed over to the work reality. I could no longer eat a lot of the food on night shift. I couldn’t eat most food in the cafeteria. The countless questions began. I explained why a plant based diet was healthier for the body because the meat is processed, injected with chemicals, animals are not maintained in clean adequate conditions and the karmic aspects of consuming another life. Instead of understanding, I was met with a lot of skepticism, confusion and rejection. Then, it was the vaccinations. We chose to stop vaccinating our children after our research exposed the toxic chemicals in vaccines, the huge spike in autism cases since vaccines were mandated, their ineffectiveness, and much more. But this was almost an inconceivable concept for someone who worked in healthcare. All we learn in school is vaccinate vaccinate vaccinate. Herd immunity through vaccination is the answer. No where in the book or the instructor mention that these vaccines contain neurotoxic chemicals such as aluminum and thimerosal (mercury). These chemicals have been known to be a key contributing factor to Alzheimer’s disease and dementia. How can I ignore these facts? How are we as healthcare workers who are in this field to help and save people be kept ignorant to this information? My opposition to vaccinations became the talk of the department when the enforcement of flu vaccinations was implemented. But explaining these concepts didn’t seem to phase people. The indoctrinated perception of “vaccines are good for you” and provide protection could not be moved, in spite of the evidence. I vividly recall standing in the medication room, as I had always done, drawing up a tetanus vaccine and seeing these words in the ingredients on the vial. It was disgusting. This is a vaccine people regularly give and receive without ever questioning the effect this medication (these chemicals) will have on the body. I could not willingly continue to inject myself, my children or anyone with this poison. Not to mention I miscarried at 14 weeks, shortly after getting the mandatory flu vaccine, when I had a perfectly healthy a viable pregnancy prior to the vaccine.

All of these experiences combined pushed me into a very confused state of mind. I didn’t know what was real anymore. I needed answers. I needed clarity. I needed to know the truth. In our research, we looked into medicinal and spiritual plants. For example, magic mushrooms, ayahuasca and LSD. These hallucinogens have had life changing effects on people. We weighed out the pros and the cons of each and made the decision to raise our consciousness to the next level. We initially tried mushrooms, which was an amazing experience. It was very vivid and emotional. I had the opportunity to face a lot of the buried unresolved emotions about having an absentee father and the effect this had not only on my life, but my mother’s life as well. It was very emotional. But it did not answer my questions. What is real? I am on the right path? In some way I felt like I was still in control of the experience, not allowing myself to let go and dive deep where I didn’t want to go. I was still at a loss. This is when we decided to go for the big guns and try LSD. This was the Most Life Changing Awakening Experience of my life. It completely destroyed the previous false perceived societal construct we have been indoctrinated to accept the reality. I became nothing. I became a cell, a spirit, a higher being that is connected to the universe with a higher purpose. I felt completely out of control during the experience. I was in a 3rd person watching myself go through this process, but vividly felt every movement and significance in the process. I had amazing life revelations that have forever changed my existence.

##1) Life is a Cycle.
You are a spirit, a higher being that reincarnates and relives a human experience. Each time you are attempting to figure out what your life purpose is and your journey for achieving it. Every time you come back to the 3rd dimension, your spirit tries to guide you more to do better this time around. You can even be connected to other people through this spiritual 5th dimensional world. This is what my and I are. We are spiritual soulmates. We have been through this human experience together in past lives. This revelation was clear because at the end of the “trips” when we would come back to each other it was a loving, comforting and familiar feeling. We felt connected beyond words, beyond the physical. It was real. It was universal.

##2) We REALLY live in the Matrix.
The moment that we stepped outside, in the daylight, walked down the steps, sat in the grass, looked up to the sky I KNEW we were in a matrix. The heightened senses, particularly touch and sight were intense. The amplification of these senses made this clear. I felt completely different touching everything outside. I felt my bare feet touch the concrete steps, gently scrape the soles as I took step down. I felt my skin rub on my clothes as they touched the uncut grass on the ground to sit down. The grass between my fingers, the dirt, the trees. It all felt different. It felt more real than they had ever felt before. I looked up at the bright blue sky and saw the white clouds in detail and very textured. More real. It felt real. It really felt real in a way that was bigger. Bigger than everything we have been taught life is about. Life is NOT about going to school, getting a job, working hard, and dying at old age. This is a constructed limiting illusion that has been created and forced upon the people as the way of life, as the reality. This is created to keep us enslaved, blinded workers to keep their illusion operating and generating income for them. Them being the elite powers in control of the matrix. Life, real life is not about this. It is about, living, experiencing, connecting, improving and building with each other to improve our human experience. Not to work, become indebted and die. There is more to life than what we have been lied to about our entire lives.

##3) Everything is Connected.
My mortality, my minusculeness in this universe became evident in this experience. We watched Spirit Science videos about Sacred Geometry and how everything in the universe is based on mathematics. I have seen these types of videos before, but it never penetrated me this way. This time it was different. I was able to see these images and have these experiences for myself. I had moments where I felt as though I was falling, falling into nothingness, darkness, into the immense universe of silence. I was able to see the flower of life at different depths in the same image, each connecting to something else, but connected to each other at the same time. The shapes in everything began to stand out. The rectangular TV, the circular clocks. The concept of time is another topic, but the fast paced stressed world that has been created is not real. Time does not exist, at least not in the way we perceive and believe it to be. We are forced to rush through life, and are not able to truly experience or appreciate it. Getting back to the connectivity aspect, even sitting outside in the grass gave me the feeling of being one with the Earth. It was unbelievable. I felt connected to the universe, the world, and my spirit in a different way, deeper than I had ever previously experienced in my life.

To say this was a life changing experience is an understatement. Like the birth of my daughters, this was something that I was completely alert, engaged and in tune with every step of the process. And it was life truly life changing. I was able to settle in myself with the woman I was becoming. I began to embrace the knowledge I acquired over the years and put the pieces of the puzzle together in order to lead a truly purposely and fulling life, not only for myself but for my beautiful babies. It became easier and clearer to stand on what I knew and believed because I was living in truth, I am living the true reality. This is where real life, the life beyond the confines of the matrix provide. I mean the real reality from a universal perspective. My babies will not be ignorant to the truth. They will not be brainwashed, and spoon fed the lies and artificial construct that has been used to govern us our entire lives. My children will be informed and not consume the poison being forced upon us from vaccines to food. My children will know how we are one, we are connected, that we are higher beings living a human experience. They will know they need to find their talents and purpose in life in order to be happy. Live through your gifts. But in order to do this we need to free ourselves with knowledge. When people are able to begin unveiling these realities by questioning what we have been taught, we will open the door toward true freedom. Just by asking questions. Why? How? Where?

In short, these two spiritual experiences awakened my consciousness in a way I never knew was even possible. The birth of our second daughter a few years later only solidified my reality and gave me the courage to detach myself from the matrix. It gave me the strength to choose my family over my job. It gave me the strength to live on my principles, the lifestyle and food I know is best, to make conscious self driven decisions on how to move in my life and be able to teach my children. It has forced me to tap back into my drive, the drive I had as a little girl and young woman to successful. I’m connecting with my hunger of being uncomfortable to achieve more greatness for my babies. It is making me better. I couldn’t trade that for anything. I now get to decide how, when, what and why. My time is mine. My time is for my family. My time is for me. Who is more important than that? And I do not need to lead two different lives anymore. I can be me. The me I am discovering more of everyday. The me I see reflected in my children. The me I want to be. The me that I meant to be which is to help people. I have always wanted to help people. And I can now do this in a way that is true to me and aligned with my values by sharing with others. With that being said, I really hope that this helped you in some way. I do not have everything figured out. My life is not perfect. But I am happier now than I was. I feel it. I get to be me. I get put my children every night. I don’t miss anything anymore. I am present. Mentally, physically and spirituality. And I continue to grow. We are all a continuous work in progress until we transcend. And you can be too. The first step is to just begin questioning what you think you know, and critically research and analyze what you find. Don’t simply accept what you are told to be true. Think for yourself.

“Knowledge is Power. Application of Knowledge is Freedom” - Elena

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