I notice sometimes when I have my life being too easy that I don't appreciate things as much so even avoid pay some bills can be an exciting moment since you can feel some exciting feelings of: What will happen if I do this? Or I notice if my salary is a bit slow how much I appreciate food when I can go buy it. You know it's a bit wrong and it can perhaps be a bit self destructive but I love the painful side to it since I know the deeper love that will come out from that.
Sort of like I can generate a constant exciting feeling from avoiding doing certain things I know I should be doing. I also notice I become way more present when I do stuff like that. How much can I get away with? I never want to grow so called old and stop testing limits. Always curious to experiment with being on the edge. Can't stand boredom I need excitement all the time.
For most of my life I have supported this thought, and even now it is so. I think it's the best way to grow up, to train mentally and be open to all emotions, to live fully without setting limits. But it can also be very painful often, letting ourselves be carried away by emotions makes us suffer many times, but if we overcome them we will always be stronger and more and more ready to live the most out of everything.
I agree 100%. That will say Emotions = Lots of Value. I also get a deeper respect for the life process after I experienced more pain. I can feel more gratitude. I know many other males can find it annoying since they see it as a waste of time hahah. Very many males that really get extremely uncomfortable with emotions. Never had that issue.
I do not know, I'm like that too, but I'd like to be colder and more detached sometimes... My ex-girlfriend used to say that she did not care about stereotypes, that she love my sweetness, but then when I had moments of difficulty and I showing my emotions, I seen in her eyes that it was not like she said.