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RE: The photo of the cat has absolutely NOTHING to do with this post.

in #isolated7 years ago

Here's the funny thing about trying to get into a field dominated by people who are unlike you:

It's hard. It doesn't matter what that differentiation is, whether you be a different gender or literally physically different in some significant way, or differently socialized. You are the outsider.

As such, it becomes incumbent on you to be better than all of your competitors. Life, such as it is, is not a fair place.

In your case, it's even more complicated, because you are inheriting the side effect of the last several years of women making themselves a dangerous commodity to have in a male-dominated workplace. Not because you are inherently less capable of doing any of this kind of work, and not because you are a distraction to anybody who is working professionally there – but because very vocal women have used the fact that they are women to destroy the lives and livelihoods of men that they work alongside using nothing more than a naked accusation.

That you happen to be attractive and are coming to this a little later in life than some other women who may be interested in entering the field doesn't help their concern.

And let's be clear and fair, it is an entirely reasonable concern. That you, personally, are not providing the threat doesn't mean that your presence is not an increased level of threat. That's a real problem. For them.

So to get by that, you have to understand it. You have to accept that doing the grown-up shit is a real pain in the ass. That people will engage with you in a way which minimizes their threat surface. That you have to work twice as hard to prove yourself half as competent.

On top of that, you have to deal with the fact that some of the people in your field are real assholes. That's not particularly specific to your field since it applies to every single field I've ever had experience of, but it's a core issue here.

You need an internship. That means you are probably going to have to continue to work the phones, but instead of letting people tell you that they're going to give you a big quiz, just set up a meeting. Get face-to-face, eye to eye, and tell them that if they want to know how good you are, they're going to have to put you on a job. And stick to that.

The job has to be the focus. Proving yourself as part of the job will happen naturally if you've got the talent. But step one is looking someone dead in the eye and implicitly telling them that you are willing to take the risk of working with them and as such they should take the risk of working with you.

Also, some Spanish lessons. But I think that's just Texas. And Southern California.

You're not alone in your problem set. But you do have to own it, and you do have to understand what your opponents (in this context) actually want and actually need, no matter what they say. That makes outmaneuvering them far more possible.

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I agree with you. I think the feminists fuck around with a lot of shit they dont need to and take things way to far. As a result woman are scary to be around in general. I was working for a dentist years ago and we had a girl come in for some cosmetic and I guess she is a model who was also 17. I left the room to go develop some film and when I came back the dentist pulled me aside, furious! He told me to NEVER leave him alone with a female under 18. At first I was wierded out by it and thought he was overly paranoid, but later when i brought it up to my older sister... she said he was right. Just being alone around her and one accusation from her and his business would be over.

Thing is, environmental safety was not my idea. A friend of mine who owns a demolition company told me to come to Texas, and take some classes it would be easy work for big money. But now that I have done everything I was told to do this shit happens. I really do not buy into the American dream theory. You can be whatever you want to be if you chose. Bullshit. I think people become who everyone else wants them to be. Thats why we have so many strippers today...and the feminization of men. Man purses, and all that. Lol..
But seriously... I will figure it out. Thanks for the comment

The American Dream not only exists, it's real.

The part that people neglect to mention is that it is hard. It requires both effort and a certain amount of luck. If it happened all the time, to every body, no matter what, it certainly wouldn't be a Dream.

Establishing and accepting that upfront is part of the secret to understanding how to get it.

Most people like to take the easy course, and the easy course is to become what everyone else wants you to be. There is the slightly less annoying alternative of being what everyone else needs you to be, which has its own profitability and emotional satisfaction, and is definitely something worth looking at.

But you can be anything you want to be. You just have to work hard and get lucky. And keep in mind that luck is as much working hard to put yourself in the right place for things to be going your way as anything else.

Your job, should you choose to accept it, is to step up and decide if you're going to make it happen or let it happen. If you're going to make it happen, you pretty much already know what you need to do. If you're going to let it happen, you let a lot of other things happen along the way.

I know which one I prefer.

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