Indroductions First I Suppose

I never really know how to start stuff like this. I find that not many people seem to hear me in my real life, so why would anyone on the internet want to listen to anything that comes from me. But, I find myself struggling lately, struggling to find a sincere reason to get out of bed and stay there, a reason to want to experience the day. So I'm thinking that even if these entries are never read, at least I can get the thoughts out, maybe stop them from just cycling over and over in my mind.

I am a 32-year-old female, I have been exposed to a lot of the dark side life has to offer, but also I have been and still am fairly sheltered from a lot of common problems and required experiences that the majority of people that I have chosen to interact with deal with every day for years. Currently not employed, not from a lack of trying, but probably a severe lack of drive and motivation to really mean it I suppose. It's not like I'm unintelligent, or that I lack both basic and above-average
skills that are marketable or could make a decent check, I guess right now I just feel as though I'm just waking up and finding myself completely disgusted with my own complacency, but amazed that I am just now realizing just how asleep I've been about the state of the world around me, but also the state of my own person.