Allow Myself to Introduce Myself...

Hi Steemit!

Here's a little bit about me.

I never knew my parents. They were ambushed and killed in the African jungle thus leaving me, in my infancy, alone and unattended. I was eventually found and raised by my adopted family of gorillas, they saved my life and I am forever grateful. This was a stable environment to be brought up in until this dick tiger kept trying to kill me. Luckily, when I turned ten, I was able to escape as I was accepted into a school for witchcraft and wizardry. My excitement at this new adventure was short lived when someone I won't name began trying to kill me. I dropped out at the end of the sixth year after my asshat defense against the dark arts instructor murdered our headmaster. It was just too much.

After leaving school I went on a journey of self discovery. I joined up with some fellows who were on a mission to destroy a wedding ring in a volcano. It was fun at first but the midget ring bearer was a grumpy, self absorbed jerk with oversized, stinky feet. It didn't help that everyone wanted us dead over this cheap trinket from Zales. We eventually got separated and I bailed choosing to join the rebel alliance. This was an exciting period of my life even though we were at war and the Galactic Empire were executing all "traitors". Our squad leader was a little eccentric, always waiving a light sword around, talking to invisible friends and picking up trash with his mind but he was nice enough. Once I was discharged I felt lost. I started experimenting with drugs as I helped my buddy Jesse and his partner peddle some meth down in Albuquerque. Surprisingly, no one tried to kill me during this period but the Feds were everywhere. I eventually got clean and my soul searching led me to train with Ra's al Ghul and the League of Assassins. I felt that I had finally found my true calling in life until some joker kept attempting to have me killed and I quit.

This was enough for me to get serious about life and I decided to settle down. I now teach archeology at a university and chase historic relics in my free time where, sigh, people continuously try to kill me. I met a goddess, Diana, and we hit it off immediately. She was everything I ever wanted; smart, funny, beautiful and being kinky with a lasso didn't hurt either. Diana had won my heart and I hers so Ms. Prince became Mrs. Young. We now live in Los Angeles and have six children, Rob, Sansa, Brandon, Arya, Rickon and the know nothing bastard Jon.

My top three movies: Raiders of the Lost Ark, Goodfellas and The Lost Boys.
My top three television shows: Lost, Breaking Bad and Game of Thrones.
My top three novels: Pillars of the Earth, The Stand and the entire Harry Potter series.

What say you Steemit?

Cheers!

Skaditch