My story so far, through music, films, art and back to music.

Hello.

My name is Sam, Sam Cook.

I am 28 years young, a musician and I am currently in a band called L.A.W with my girlfriend @thisisjordan. I have had an often difficult and sometimes unusual experience on this planet but one that I would say, so far, at least, has been memorable.

This is my story of how I grew up in London to a single parent, I suffered with a speech impediment, and went on to play and sing in bands to thousands of people and travel, working for film companies such as Warner Brothers and Marvel as an assistant director, on films such as The Avengers - Age of Ultron, 007 - Spectre. And to finally arrive here in the now, writing this.

Sometimes it is the challenges in life we overcome that help shape who we are. This process of writing and documenting my own journey has helped me uncover and get to know myself a bit more, so I hope it offers a window into my journey.

Where to begin? Perhaps, at the beginning.

I was born in London on July, 21st 1989.

Here is the evidence! This is me on the day I was born.

So! To bring you up to date on my life and introduce myself. This is a picture of my parents on their wedding day. Before I was even born. Look how happy!

This is the last and only picture of the family spending Christmas together (thats me pulling a face in the background). My parents divorced when I was about four years old - My father left and moved back to his hometown in Cornwall, south west England. As you can probably see, although we didn't have a great deal of money, we were brought up in a liberal and creative household - something I am now very grateful for.

(This process is actually turning out to be really helpful in retracing my steps and uncovering exactly how it is I got to this very moment. Retracing our steps and working through our childhood is something that can be difficult, emotional but rewarding.)

Still my mum did an incredible job of bringing two kids up by herself.

Supposedly the trauma around the separation of my parents is what lead to me developing a stutter. Something that plagued and interrupted most of my childhood, but in hindsight taught me to speak less and to listen more. I would only go through the painful process of trying to spit words out if I really had something to say.

My brother and I spent our holidays in Cornwall with my father. Which in hindsight was a blessing. To be able to experience the polar opposing ways of life. The city and the country. To finish the school term in busy London and run off somewhere in the countryside.

This, on the left, is my brother Dan (he, as am I, is into his Crypto, he is a Neo holder - probably because he loves the Matrix)

At the age of 15, my brother had left to live with my father in Cornwall. I found myself in a precarious place, in with the wrong crowd, delivering and handling drugs for older gangs. It wasn't long before I too followed suite and headed for Cornwall.

This is me and my pal Beau, waltzing around town like gangsters.

When I moved to Cornwall, for a start, my stutter disappeared. I found it was an opportunity to reimagine who I was, who I wanted to be and who I could be - without the restraints of all of my friends and surroundings in London.

It was at this time I started pursuing photography. In particular portrait photography. I liked the idea of being able to mix with all parts of society and being able to photograph and portray them in a simple and honest way. Centre heavy compositions looking straight at the camera.

Photography was a passion until I started studying at university. Which is when I moved back to London at 19. It wasn't long before I chucked in the course and started a band with my school friend Jake, we called the band The Mockingbirds.

Only love. This is one of our songs played live at Proud Galleries in Camden.

This is me. Age 21.

We played a gig to 5,000 people in a small town in Georgia (the Georgia next to, and at war with Russia - it was super wierd)

Before the gig I had a fight with George (pictured) which marked the end of the band, though we still had to play the gig! I left and via the Ukraine I made it home.

I arrived home with no direction and no plan. The band was finished. I was at a loss.

I spent a year moping around before I joined another band, and a new chapter of the journey begun. We quickly got management and a small record deal, and we were supporting bands I had been a fan of as a kid such as Razorlight.

Fractures - Ride

We released a single, had press and national radio play. We were tipped as a top new band. Before I knew it - I was in the same place. We were offered an album deal by a record label, but our management didn't tell us about it because there wasn't enough money in it for them (just one of the pitfalls of the industry) So before I knew it - the band was over and I had no idea what I was doing with my life. Again.

Perhaps the law of attraction really does work because I asked the universe for a job on a film for £100 a day and later that day, having sent a text message to someone I had met at a festival and I got a call asking me, for exactly what I had asked the universe for.

I started as a runner and that set off the next part of my journey through my 20's.

Below is my IMDB of films I have worked on.

I spent the whole of the summer 2015 working on the Avengers which was a surreal experience.

See if you can spot my name in the credits.

Scarlet Johanson's prosthetic head

On set at Shepperton Studios with Chris Hemsworth (Thor)

I worked my way up to a third assistant director. Travelled to Morrocco, Italy and Wales working on films.

It was at this point, likely due to exhaustion, I started suffering from the beginnings of either A. a spiritual awakening or B. mental illness. My direction and beliefs started changing, quietly and internally. I started to question everything.

I decided I no longer wanted to work in the film industry. I felt as if I was making decisions on behalf of other people and not myself. Instead, I decided, I wanted to draw. Revisiting the basics and perhaps my first introduction into creativity.

This is what came of it.

Salvador Dali

David Bowie

David Lynch

John Lennon

It was through drawing and continually challenging my perceptions that I had a profound realisation. Darkness and the light, black and white, good and bad, day and night, light and dark are parts and tools of the necessary spectrum through which we experience life. You cannot fully escape the darkness for it is from the darkness that we are able to see light.

It took me a long time to come to terms with the experience, I eventually (nearly two years later) wrote a poem as a reminder to myself.

So here I am, I have updated you, and myself with my journey. So where from here?

Now. This is me and @thisisjordan, we are both living in London and working on a new project called L.A.W (love at war)

For anyone following I will be updating this page with songs, poetry, pictures, drawings, live videos and other forms of content that might be of interest.

Below is a song Jordan and I wrote, that I think is in theme with this post.

I hope you enjoy it.

This is me today.
and just to prove I am who I say I am. Looking more and more like Jesus by the day.