Hey guys, it seems that I have not written an introduction post yet, so I guess now would be a good time for one.

Are you really a sentient tomato?

Unfortunately I'm human.

Why the salt?

Because I'm a salty person.

Where are you from?

Geographical location isn't relevant, we're all made up of the same atoms.

What do you do?

I think about the point of existing everyday and often ponder about the meaning of life, slowly drawing myself into an inevitable hole of existential crisis that may one day trigger me to end my life.

If you are talking about my job, then I'm a creative executive for a marketing agency.

How old are you?

Time is a human construct which cannot hold a point of reference for physical age.

What are your interests?

I'm regularly invested in the art of designing sustainable habitats and the general care of animals.
Here are some of the animals that I've kept throughout the years.

Yes, that's me carrying the dog.

What kind of content will you be writing?

Informative guides on how to do simple stuff.

As a bonus, I'll include a mini-guide for something I've learnt over the weekend.

How to Attract More Upvotes With One Simple Trick

Alright, in order for this to work, you need to learn on how to open your mind. You have to free it from it's feeble human constraints and reach out to the vast infinite darkness of the abyss.

While we can't reach that level of consciousness without breaking a few laws, here's an easy way to achieve that.

You will need to draw on an object, it has to be organic and not man-made. Easiest is just to find a large flat piece of rock.

For this example, I'm using a flat rock I found in a river. Draw the symbol as what I've drawn on your object.

Next you will need an object that you treasure the most in your life, the thing that you absolutely cannot live without. For me I'll be sacrificing this piece of fried potato.

This next step is crucial, leave both objects in a dark room, lock the room and make sure NO ONE goes in. Leave it in there for the night and go to bed.

When you wake up the next day, both objects in the room should have disappeared.
If you have done everything correctly, your mind can now comprehend the text below.

̴̥̳̇ͥͭͪ͆̄̌̄ͤͥ̉̽͋͌͏̖̫̬͚ ̶̵̛̤͔̣̤͓̯͚̮̥̑̎ͨ̔͊ͧ̃̅̊̚͜ ͉̼̘̺͚̹̣̳͈̫̦̊̉̂̃ͥ̈̐̉ ̸̤̞͚͔͎̹̥̳̥̙͚̭̤͔̣͔̼̝̭̖̟̟̜͎͎ͧ̾́ͦ͗̅̅ͨ̌̾̈́͒̏̏́̇́ͥͥ̊̚͟͟͠͠͏̱̠͉͔̺̫͈̩͡

Recite it, and invoke the dark power of chaos to gain more upvotes!