The last words with my brother.... Today I read our messages, I smiled and cried again...

Its been a while since I've experienced this. This happened in 2007, when i was ten. My brother Roland was 18 at the time , and had lung cancer. He was growing weaker and weaker. He was coughing so much and breathing was becoming hard for him, very hard. On december 23rd 2007, two days before chrismas , i visited him in the hospital, he was in the hospital because Doctors expected him to pass very soon and they didn't want him at home to die. Me and him acted very friendly towards each other. He acted like he had no cancer, and he was at home again. He laughed, he caugjed but suddenly he began to cry. He looked me right in the eye, and told me these words, the words that still haunt and make me cry to this day;

Rachel, I need you to know some things, no matter what happened to me, even if i die, i don't want you to mourn. I want you to continue on with life, and comfort dad and mum and everybody else. Whatever is in my room, just tell dad and mum to sell everything, and say I said so. And, with all the money that is earned, use it to buy yourself some extra present. They can make my bedroom into anything they want, as long as you agree. You're their only child now, they will likely listen. Even if i die today, or tomorrow, just keep me in your heart and mind. I will always be with you, no matter what .

It's my time to go and your time to live. Be safe of my heart, even if it stops beating. It will always beat in the sky." And then he carefully hugged me as tight as he could. I couldn't understand why he said goodbye to me right then, but now I do. I thought he was saying goodbye because he might not get the chance later, but that was only half the reason. On December 25th, 4:08pm, mom got a call from the hospital....... and the person said Roland has died. I cried for hours and hours, but I finally got the control to tell them is command and they obeyed.

We made 88 dollars from all his stuffs....I didn't use the money,and to this day i still have the 88 dollars in my wallet. I cried for many days, many hours, then i remembered he told me not to mourn, so i suddenly felt like i needed to stop. I did stop and I did comfort everybody else who was mourning . The reason he said goodbye to me on 23rd was because the Doctor told him he had 2 days left to live, and they were right. And the hospital wouldn't allow him see any visitor on Chrismas Eve. With 9 chrismases now passed without him, and the tenth Chrismas creeping closer and closer, I felt it was time to share this story...., goodbye Roland, I will always love you... Have a good Chrismas Celebration with the Angels Roland. I miseed you dearly and forever in my heart!!!