How it's like to be a nude photography model in a conservative country

Hi, I'm Oana, a 34 year-old musician, writer, feminist and nude photography model from Romania. I could talk a lot about all of my ocuppations, but I chose to talk first about my activity as a nude photography model because this is the most controversial one. It's not easy to express yourself so freely when you live in a Christian, conservative society.

My first experience with nude photography happened in 2006, when a Romanian nude photographer, Cristian Crisbășan, asked me to pose for him. I had always been passionate about nude photography and nude art, because I love the beauty and variety of the human bodies, but I had never considered to do this myself. So I grasped the opportunity and said yes :) This actually was the beginning of a beautiful friendship, both with the photographer and with nude artistic expression.

As time passed and I got involved in the nude art community, working with various photographers, I started to receive a lot of compliments and encouragements, but also a good deal of insults and unsolicited dickpics from strangers on the internet.

Unfortunately, as it happens too often in a Christian, traditionalist country like Romania, people with open minds are regarded as dangerous. As I have always fought for women's rights and for the rights of the LGBTQ community, I was considered three times as dangerous :)

The thing is, although people's aggressive attitude toward me scared me initially, in time, this made me stronger. I felt our society needs people who fight for what they believe in and I realized I would be proud to be one of those people. As I became more and more popular in certain artistic circles, I was happy to notice I had the power to influence and encourage people. Many publications started to ask me for interviews and my inbox is always full with excited messages from people who want to start doing nude photography. Everybody wants to know why I keep doing what I do in spite of being called "stupid whore" all the time.

It's simple: because I think nude photography is the most sincere and vulnerable form of portraiture. You have no sense of fashion to hide behind, no clothes, no shoes, no jewellery. Nothing to protect yourself from people's gaze and judgment. I find it liberating to show my skin, my scars, my moles, my wrinkles in front of everybody's eyes. It's an exercise of self-love.

I have this scar on my right breast since I was 15. It affected my self-esteem deeply, considering I was a teenager and looks were very important for me at the time, like they are for most teenagers. I thought my whole femininity was ruined and I would never have the chance to become a real woman. In the meantime, I also wrote a poem about how I came to terms with my scar, which I'll publish another time. The thing is that nude photography really helped me to love my body as it is. Just the fact that you can see your body in photos, from all these different angles, some flattering, some less so, you develop a feeling of endearment. It's just so vulnerable, yet so strong, so ugly and so beautiful, so different from all the other bodies and still having everything in common with them. I love seeing the signs of time on my body along the years, that's why I always say I will do nude photography until I'm 80 and all saggy :)

I'm sending my love to all of you who love your bodies and to all of you who haven't come to love it yet. I wish you a journey to self-discovery at least as beautiful and hard and touching as mine was <3

Photos by: yours truly, Cristian Crisbășan and Sabina Costinel.