Blogging with Brain Damage

Hey Steemit, I have been here for a week and I think it's time to tell my story.

I had a complicated birth which left me without oxygen for an extended period of time and the doctor had to revive me. This left me with Cerebral Palsy and a host of physical and learning disabilities. But that's OK because I felt that it enhanced my creativity and problem solving abilities, being smaller and weaker than your peers will force you to get creative fast. When the bully would walk toward me I grabbed handfuls of delicious blinding sand, when I need to get a jar open and if the lid is too tight I immediately boil water to heat the lid, because I refused to let the bullies and jars beat me, yeah they can slap me around a bit, but when I turn up the heat they suffer too.

When it comes to writing I have so many ideas, but I have the hardest time converting them into a written form. When I finally get them on the screen I realize, I am missing so many key words that I can barely understand what I was trying to say, typically all the nouns are missing. Also I may end up with only one sentence stretched into three large paragraphs, how does that even happen! So I begin rewriting which is a challenge because physically I can only write for a few hours before my body gives out, some of my posts have taken 15 rewrites and over three days to complete and I honestly still can't tell if they are written properly. It's as if my brain is Pentium III and I have over-clocked the hell out of it and I am trying to compete with i7's, so I have to keep pushing my limitations further and further so they never become a deterrent.

There is a lot of humor in my condition, I can't recall information quickly, which means I lose every argument and constantly call people by the wrong name, this includes the friends, scorned girlfriends and family, which believe it or not this causes lots of issues. Also when attempting to play video games my hands have lost the plot, this is basically a lottery, I push jump and my hands are like “eeny, meeny, miny, Duck Mario, Duck!” I never know the reason I walked into a room, so I have to retrace my steps brainstorming “what could I have possibly wanted to do in the bathroom?” this sometimes leads to tragedy.

As a kid the doctors would refer to me as a mongoloid and they used do this crazy bowlegged walk and say “Strive for that, because that is the best you can hope for without braces and crutches.” After 17 years of poking and prodding, a few procedures and physical therapy I proved them all wrong and got very close to how most people walk and talk, I just couldn't do it for long and stairs are my Kryptonite. Now my condition is making it too difficult to hold a steady job, I am really hoping this is an alternative to disability, but if it doesn't work out, that's fine. I always paid my taxes so I might as well collect a little early, but I would prefer to make my own money, there is no better felling than being a productive member of society and earning what I get, I have avoided giving up and going on disability all my life. I have rarely ever used my situation as an excuse, the only time that I can recall is once I said that I couldn't lift a heavy box because I had just had surgery, so a secretary had to do it, I lost a few man points that day.

I was laid off from work a few years ago so I got into mining and trading altcoins which helped me supplement my income, trading with Cerebral Palsy can sometimes be scary because I have constant muscle spasms that cause my fingers to twitch and do things that sometimes hurt my portfolio. I accidentally click random things so often that I had to switch to Linux because I would get the really bad computer viruses that would force me to reinstall about once every 3 months, and who wants to constantly setup and reinstall tons of software to Windows with fingers that can't be trusted?

I really like steemit and I have learned a lot in a very short amount of time. What I didn't expect is how addictive it is and I have not been into social media since Myspace, so I can't even imagine how you socialites are coping. I am a private person so this was rather difficult to write about and I don't ever mention my handicap in the real world or let people see how it affects me, because I find it humiliating to admit that I might not be able to do somethings that normal people take for granted. Also I have had too good of a life to be pitied, save your pity for those that don't know what they are capable of and allow their gifts and abilities to atrophy by accepting welfare. I know some of you are having trouble learning to blog and others are looking for the next trophy wife to celebrate your success, but maybe my story can inspire someone else to open up and be honest about what is happening in their life.