Hi, Im Kitty Kitt and i am a comic artist, freelance graphic artist, and gamer with new perspective on life

Hello everyone! As you can tell by now, im new here. I dont really know where to start, everything has been a crazy storm of events for me. But its impolite not to introduce myself so i'll start with who i am. My real name is Christine, but everyone calls me Kitty or Chris. Im born in the Philippines, Cebu. I used to make comics alot on a place called Tapastic, with my main one called The Evolution of Kitty. It all started as a fun outlet for me. Drawing has always been my thing. I made random comics about my life since 2015, and started uploading them on tapastic when a friend told me to share it to the world. The next picture is gonna be relevant to my story. I even started a Patreon, but due to complications. I havent been doing a good job with it.

         

I mentioned that making comics was an outlet to me. Eventually it got harder for me to do anything. I slowly lost interest in everything i used to love doing. Even making comics. By then it got too obvious and hard to manage. Drawing no longer helped me in any way. I no longer saw the point in everything. It was like everything went dark and cold. You couldnt see the point in anything anymore. And what always upset me was that i did not understand why i would feel this way.  By the end of 2015, i made it a goal for me not to stop making content. But i always failed. BUT DONT WORRY, everything seems sad now but the story gets better.

The first half of 2016, life got harder. More friends left, they couldn't handle all the negativity i always had with me. I had quit college twice. Because i could never concentrate in school or make any friends. On the second half of 2016, I decided to go to a place called Baguio and take up a short term training on animation with a friend. But really, it was an excuse to escape my city and try to figure life out. It felt nice for awhile, a place where no one knew me, a clean slate to start with. But i also felt more lonely than i ever had. 

And i would often take long walks at night at Burnham Park, to distract myself.

2017 was where it really got bad for me. Other than going to the park i also mostly spent my nights in  net cafe (it is very popular in my country to have an internet cafe). I would stay late and play games to keep my head from thinking about bad thoughts. Games like cs:go, overwatch, league of legends etc. I wasn't picky, i would play any game especially if i had someone to play with. But it only worked for a little while. Aside from having a hard time making friends, my health also made it hard for me to actually do alot of things. It always upset me. 

One day a friend told me "what if you never finish school because your scoliosis got so bad that you cant even go to school?". It took a toll on me really badly. My depression hit an all time high by then. I did such a stupid thing after that. I hurt myself, but most importantly I had spent alot of my mother's money to go to Manila and enjoy my last week in leisure. I hanged out with a bunch of online friends, ate out and more. By the end of the day, i had swallowed 50+ heart pills (i had heart complications too and the pills were supposed to regulate the beating) with coffee. I didnt want to wake up. But i did. And i guess a part of me wanted to live because i had contacted my online friends before i passed out.

I woke up alive, being rushed into the nearest hospital. I overdosed and can barely remember most of the stuff that happened. My online friends (people i got close with through an app called Telegram, and most of them redditors) helped me. My parents, furious and sad took me back to Cebu for treatment. They had loaned so much money to keep up with the hospital bills. They tried their best to help me get better. I started getting a psychiatrist. I started taking meds. It took alot of convincing for them to agree that i could be on my own again, to atleast finish school in Baguio. And i did. I slowly got better. I started opening up to friends again. The meds usually knocked me out but they also helped. 

And with all of that mess, i had realized. These internet friends, they barely knew me but they helped me out so much. They valued my life more than i ever could, they saw something in me, they saw that i can be saved. If a bunch of online people who i just met me once or twice, if these people can put so much effort in keeping me alive. Then why arent i doing the same thing? They must've seen something in me. I mattered. I didnt value my life as much as im supposed to. I didnt love myself like i needed. I needed to get better, and the next half of 2017 was just that. I was slowly trying to love myself again. I got alot of love and support. I found a guy who loves me just as much as i love him.

Im starting to draw more again. A friend suggested Steemit to me since he thinks you guys might like it too.

Also i would just like to mention that it took me alot of guts to share this. Not alot of my friends know about this. But i decided to share it here, thinking that maybe someone out there is having a bad time too, and ive been there. And i just wanna let you guys know that, to yourself you may think you dont matter. But you would win the "most wrong person award" for that. Because you matter. A L O T. You just dont know it yet.

Im gonna start making comics again, more wholesome too. I wanna help people see that the world isnt that bad. Stay strong. 

Tl;dr: I made art whenever i was sad, got really depressed and tried to kill myself for the last time. But a bunch of people online helped save me and i gained a new perspective on life. Now im inspired to draw more and live my life. And i want to cheer up people who have been in my spot through my comics.

Lots of Love,

Kitty Kitt