RE: Pedophiles are not child molesters or rapists.
definepedaphile, or dp, if I may call you that for short, I am sorry you were born with such a hated sexuality. This is a topic I have thought of before and I believe I understand where you are coming from - although I don't have the first hand experience. I wanted to say you are brave for standing up to society. But, as you seem aware, this is a tough act.
I believe a lot of the issue is human's natural desire to categorise things. Sadly, paedophilia has be classed with child abuse (and the sort) within the 'hate this' category. I would like to see more people in our world stop and actually think about things a little more. I would also like to see more people stop simply assimilating information, and taking part in individual research and critical thinking.
I, for one, have nothing against you dp. If anything I am really pleased that you are adamant about doing the lawful thing. I am sorry you got dealt with quite an average card when born, but I encourage you to continue challenging society.
This doesn't come lightly, I have young daughter myself and I have indeed explored this topic. I feel similarly to you, simply being attracted to something abnormal (kids, cars, other things) isn't a crime not something you can help. This reminds me of homosexuality and how long it has, and is, taking for people to understand and accept that it's natural. Of course I do believe quite strongly in the legal side, which, by the sounds of it, you do too.
I would like to ask one question, if I may. It may be a little blunt and in-you-face, but I figure that you have thought about this, I may learn from how you view it, and others reading this may think beyond the definition of paedophilia and empathise living with it.
What are your views on porn. I'll presume you masturbate, and I assume you do so with at least the imagination of kids. How far is ethical, or how far do you go? Just thoughts of fantasy kids, random kids you have seen all but once, kids you are familiar with, pictures of kids, porn pics of kids, porn vids of kids? Replace kids with what I am sexually attracted to (women) and I have done all of the above.
So what is your cut-off? Do you think this is fair (compared with being sexually attracted to something else)? and would you hope to change 'the way it is' at all? If so, how?
I hope this question is not too forward. If it is, please feel free to ignore this part!
Thanks for caring about this subject it really gives me hope that humanity may grow a little more. As for porn, I started being curious at age 14 after seeing a drawing but initially it was only "Eye candy" I was interested in and I would search online for pictures of cute kids I could imagine myself being in a relationship with. Unfortunately I was exposed to an easy way to access porn online and eventually became interested in finding anything that involved two kids because of my deep unquenchable curiosity regarding the taboo. I never cared for other kinds of porn (children with adults) but that became unavoidable since the method I used to find it was deceptive and didn't always contain what the title claimed. To be honest this was an escape for me, I found that not all porn was bad, but when I was socially active and had more experiences I left it all behind. Later I researched the topic further only to learn it was acceptable in some countries and some kids even had their parents permission to partake in the production of this media. It was safer even, because they were being protected, supervised and there was knowledge of what would be produced as well as collaboration on behalf of parents. Nothing would be done without the parent's and kids consent.
I was interested in finding anything that would be romantic, which I did find little of. I think most porn especially even the normal adult porn is a bit too aggressive and exaggerated. I don't think most (regular adult) porn represents the true essence of sex which is what I searched for. In the end the number of videos you might find such as these romantic ones are too rare so I ended up taking a greater interest in drawings. On that side I think as far as "porn" goes it is probably the least evil since no one is harmed and it is ultimately an expression/an art piece. I can't say porn is good or bad however. I know there are different kinds and I know there are many that are evil and probably aren't healthy but I think (as long as its not the wrong kind?) it does help keep a pedophile entertained and provides an outlet to a basic human necessity. I believe by keeping them entertained they can cope with their urges at least until their sex drive has fallen. Doctors who diagnose people with pedophilia might give drugs to reduce sex drive. For me my experiences were enough to keep me mostly inactive with porn and my experiences are something I learned to accept and say "that was it." I can appreciate that I even experienced these things and be thankful for them. I have met others who say they never had a single interaction, so I am definitely grateful that I was lucky enough to satisfy my desires. For this reason I can't be sure what porn does, but I know it didn't change me for bad. If anything I learned different positions and benefited from that knowledge. I guess I also learned proper sex?? Anyway now I only masturbate to my memories and I occasionally do enjoy reading romantic manga
Thank you for opening up, dp. I really do appreciate it. Your views were mostly as I expected - like tending to use more imagination with a more intimate basis, while having had a taste of the porn side of things. I was interested in whether some element of porn is ethical, and if it has quenching or exacerbating effects on your desires. You give great insight into this, thank you. While I struggle to see how you can really make porn quite ethically, I don't doubt its possible. I'm glad some countries are opening up to this (I imagine accepting and support works much more than hate, on all levels). I can also see you have managed to distance yourself from it, which seems to work really well for you. It's also nice to hear it had positive effects on you. I hope others find their way as you seem to have done. Not only will acceptance of its normality be a huge step forward, but having paedophiles in the public's eyes who have managed to live with an element of satisfaction while being quite ethical is surely a great encouragement to others.
Thank you again for the insight, dp. Your reply helped me understand one aspect of it a little more.