Allow me to introduce myself!

^^That's not actually me.  I'm just jealous

He's young, well dressed, handsome, confident, has the ability to smile and most importantly, probably big dick'd

These are all characteristics that I don't have

I would wear his skin if it was legal

But spending the rest of my life in the electric chair would be a mild inconvenience.

I won't hurt you  I promise

Am I a good person?

NOPE

But do I try to do better every single day?

Also, not at all

I just wanna trick you into thinking I am

That concludes my hopes and dreams section, let's move on to occupation.

I also hope and dream to have a fulfilling and lucrative career one day.  I'm broke

DO NOT EVER TRUST ME WITH A GUN

Moving on....

I'm very trust worthy.

I don't have a girlfrind

Can I borrow yours?

This is what I hope she looks like:

NAKED

That's all I have time for today

Tomorrow I will tell you more about myself.

Be my friend