Life in squares

I thought I'd kick off the ol' blog party with one of my absolute faaaaavourite topics..... Instagram!

Let's just take a moment to appreciate just a few of the super positive aspects of Instagram!

• The opportunity to pose half naked without the parents seeing, coz let's face it, they've barely figured out Facebook.
  OR
  -The parents can totally see but they don't care coz they're too busy trying to be hip, cool and their kid's best mate, rather than trying to instill a sense of self-respect and modesty into their millennial offspring.
  -The opportunity to post pictures of YOUR kids half naked (wait for it) on your totally PUBLIC page, but never mind the creeps who actively trawl the net for such pictures to do whatever they like with. And now that your kid's body is on the internet it's essentially public property... Awesome!
  -The opportunity to post "real life" insights into your "real life" for anyone who may be vaguely interested. Never mind that you actually took 593 versions of the same picture before deeming one "real" enough...

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy speaking in #hashtags just as much as any other insta user (even if the majority of mine are #sarcasticasfuck) and I totally see that Instagram has a very real place and purpose in today's technological world. It's basically a marketplace where people are able to sell their wares (and sometimes their souls) and that's great! People display their talents, share pictures of their kids, dogs and budgies and occasionally their butts. Write blogs (like this totally awesome one 😂) and give 10/10 parenting advice. Celebrities influence young, impressionable teens with their unrealistic beauty standards and body image... I mean, shit, what's not to love right?!

But when you find yourself basing your day to day outfits/activities/friends/food around what's going to look best on your feed, ya think maybe it's gone a bit too far? Instead of having obsessions, why not try a new hobby? I hear the guitar never goes out of fashion and knitting is productive as fuck! Instead of getting your kids to pose for the camera in their flash new threads for the 13millionth time insert classic quote from a friend-"Sometimes babies like to stay in fucking PJs all day"😂, why not take them out and teach them how to catch and throw a bloody ball. Or how to say please and thank you. Or just how to exist in real life society maybe?

When your 1/2/3/4year old grows up and brings their potential husband or wife home to meet the Fockers (I have nipples Greg, could you milk me?), will you be dragging out the photo album to show them a full, exciting, embarrassingly cute childhood? Or will you be logging on to Instagram to show them a perfectly choreographed "life in squares", in front of walls you don't even remember, in clothes that cost more than a fortnight's worth of groceries 😂😂😂
And will your now adult child appreciate their childhood being splashed publicly all over the internet in your attempt to fit in with the cool crowd, or (dare I say it) using their insanely cute toddler-ness to acquire some free stuff from the must have brands? 🙊

But, each to their own I guess... If trying to live up to unrealistic instaperfect standards or exposing your kids to God knows who, from God knows where is your ultimate goal and makes you truly stoked with life... Then I wish you all the luck in the world ✊