I completely understand. What you think you should be is exactly influenced by the outside world. What you feel you should be is what you truly want. I think we should never betray ourselves just so we can satisfy someone else's idea of who we should be. Embracing your authenticity is a process, not something that happens overnight and it is also something we need to practice on a constant basis. One of the best things I used as a tool to learn who I really am was self-awareness. What are my strengths? Weakness? When am I being vulnerable and when am I feeling strong? I think that before you can fully embrace your authenticity and follow through, you need to know who you are and why you act how you act.