Introduction of a man, who lost a piece of his heart and doesn't know how to get it back

  Hello, my name is Robert I served 4 years in the Marine Corps, and now I am an aspiring nutritionist/fitness instructor. I have been on a plant-based diet for 5 plus years. I am currently attending college at the moment working on my associates degree in nutrition food services, after I would like to attend a University, so I can get my bachelor’s degree. I hope to open up my own health and wellness center because I like to help people, who are sick with certain disease like diabetes, cancer, and heart disease, regain their health and prevent health problems as they get older. I love going to places like the gentle barn, so I can feel and pet animals, who were rescued from slaughter farms. I never use to like cats, but now I have 3 giant hairballs that mean the world to me. I spoil them like crazy. I like to help people and I love animals, however, with all this love why can’t I see or talk to my own daughter? Why is it that god can give me someone so beautiful and bright as my child only to not allow me to be a part of her life instead I’m apart from her life. I know it’s not gods fault, and I’m not blaming him at all.  But, why do I have to go through such torchers accusations from my baby’s mom? I had the greatest relationship with my daughter her first 6 years of life. When she came home from the hospital, she was always by myside. Every Sunday I had to make sure my daughter was watching with me either in her car seat, or huddled up in a blanket on the couch next to dad. Me and her were inseparable and for the first time in my life I cared for someone other than myself. I knew that god blessed me with a beautiful healthy little girl, so it was up to me to make sure she grows up to be the best she can be.   In early 2007, I had a great rapport with my daughter’s mom, we were meeting half ways to drop of my daughter and pick up. I spent 7 years raising the son she had before I met her. I met her son when he was only 8 months old. His first words eventually were dad and he was looking at me, I raised him. I treated him like he was my own, and my family treated him as if he was part of the family too. My dad left me when I was young so I know what it was like to be treated like you’re not part of the family. We didn’t do that with him. Then, one day I go to court to finalize the court ordered paper work that was going to allow me to see my child every weekend and still be a part of her son’s life. However, when I got to court my child’s mom flipped the switch, she started crying and telling the judge I am drug addict, and I abused her every day in front of the kids. I was a threat to her family and I threatened to kill them. I sat there with a pale look on my face of distraught like “where the eff did this come from”? the judge started talking to me aggressively and told me I’m not a doing my job as a father and that’s when I stood up (and to my everlasting shame) told the judge that she wasn’t doing her job as a judge for believing this crap. I pulled out this picture and said “look at this little girl and u tell me if her face shows any signs of violence?”  “I’ve never left my kids side since the day she was born, I’ve came to court on time every time. Most fathers don’t even show up or even make an attempt to see their kid”. I walked out and was slapped with a 3 year restraining order.   After 3 years has passed, I re file with court in 2010. I asked the court to allow me to be in my child’s life. They agree, but the mother disagrees and demand that’s I seek drug counseling. Which I oblige and re file. We go back to court and now the mom request I take parenting class. I passed 2 months of those classes. I refile to court, we go back and now the mom wants me to take 16 weeks of anger management. Meanwhile, she is missing mediation days and post ponded court. Pretty much dragging her heels in the dirt. So, I do the anger management and I attend weekly AA meetings. I’ve shown the court everything that I’ve done. They finally agree that my kid needs to see a counselor in order to re-establish our relationship. The mom was to work with the father since I live 2 hours away.   We are in 2016 now and I just found out that my daughter has been attending counseling session for a whole year with her step farther and building that relationship., while making me look like a deadbeat who didn’t show up for counseling. She then writes the court that I never attended therapy. But, the court order says she must contact the father(me) to set up proper times for counseling, which she never did. So now court thinks I’m a dead beat who missed counseling sessions. But I would say to the judge “why would I go to drug counseling when I’m not a drug addict, why would I go to a family parenting program and spend all the money and nights trying to become a better parent when I never in my life ever or will ever lay an aggressive hand on my child or anyone else’s child for that matter, and why would I pay money I don’t have for anger management class just to miss the most important part of this whole process, which is therapy? It doesn’t make since and the court can’t realize that this woman is trying everything in her power to destroy my relationship with my daughter and prevent any future relationship we will have.   I have my first session with the therapist tomorrow at 10.am. and I already know he is going to tell me that my daughter hates me and she wants nothing to do with me, but that’s only because, after a year of attending counseling, she’s been believing that I am not trying for her and that I abandon her, but I didn’t and I’m here and I’m still here fighting an upwards battle just trying to show my daughter that I love her and I’ve always tried and I’ve been trying. All I can do is try to show you that I’m here. But how can I do that? I feel like my life is awesome but a piece of my heart is missing and she deserves to be a part of my life. I love you Alexys and I won’t stop trying for you even if you hate me. She is the sunshine on an oceans wave. I miss her more than anything in this world, she is my only child. I remember the day she was born as if it happened yesterday. She was born on camp Pendleton, ca at 1:23 a.m. We got a military style police escort from the gate of the base to the base hospital. I just want her to know I’ve never stopped trying. please comment below with any suggestions or any legal advice will be greatly appreciated. Thank you for taking the time to read this introduction of myself and my daughter. I hope to continue to add to this story for whoever is interested. Thanks again.