The Observer

THE OBSERVER

Facebook just reminded me of a memory long forgotten. Exactly two years ago, on this very day I found myself sitting at a Rituals Coffee House, just before work and my mind started whirring. Buzzing like a busy bee as the steady stream of consciousness echoed through my mind, I sipped my tea, feeling the warmth on my skin and listening to the soothing noises of chatter and blenders.

A picture of the coffee shop that day

Closing my eyes I am immediately transported to that moment. The moment where I just took the time to observe. Observe everything. The ambience, the atmosphere, the colours, the smells but what my attention really gravitated to was the people. Here I was finally catching my breath, with relaxed muscles, I detached from my own head, my own thoughts and problems. I allowed the world to become my oyster. I opened myself up to the reality in front of me and started to really look at the faces, the body language, the hidden smiles, the forced exchanges and the other myriad of expressions and context I could only wane upon to interpret by only visual cues.

Inspired by the moment, I began to compose:

I sit calmly and collected
My eyes drifting from one end to another
Marking the boundaries

One end a messy mouthed missy
Another a middle aged man
The next a mix of matching misfits

One more look
I couldn’t resist
The fascinating foreign four
All in a mix

But wait !
A glimpse
Of wide-eyed wandering
Eyes appearing amiss

A soul almost detached
A lost lingering look
It seemed to me
A life littered with leashes

Closer still I gleaned
A meandering mind
With many multiple misses
Faced with a rigid reality

Here’s a reminder
For one small and tall
Take some time,
Linger awhile
Let the wise men rise

For to really look,
We first have to see.

~ NDG

Usually, when I go to public spaces to relax, read or do work, I try to remain as invisible as possible. I always used to see people I knew wherever I stepped foot outside and I would be so compulsive about the fear of being seen, I would shrink into a corner and keep my head down. Today was a different kind of day. Today, I didn’t want to be the same old me, going through the same old motions. Today I didn’t want to be self absorbed or concerned about people finding me (yes the introvertedness does strike heavily with me). Today I just wanted to observe, take myself out of my own shoes and see the humans in front of me, each bearing their own whimsical tales of life. Here, little old me, had the greatest privilege of being a part of their fleeting moment, whether they knew it or not.

Could we say that as we look on, engrossed in our favourite television series, following their lives and moments, as if they were our closest friends, that we did not indeed share a moment with those characters? You invested in those characters, real emotions, real empathy; you laughed, you cried, you loved along with them. Could the same be attested to this form of onlooking? I guess it depends on the level of investment.

This day was significant, imprinted in my mind as I reread the words I sculpted on that fateful day. So many stories, so many lives, all under the same roof. Our shared acquaintance at the time. Lovely when one thinks about it. We are all connected, one entity under one roof. What struck me most as I gazed from face to face, those etched with scrumptious delight, playful laughter, rumbustious joking and peaceful ruminating, was a single occupant pressed against the glass window. My eyes stood fixed on that one mister. A sombre look of detachment marked his features. He gazed, what appeared to be, absentmindedly at the room and then out the window. I stared a little longer. He piqued my interest because as I continued to observe I could see the real emotion behind these expressions. Lost. That was the word. No other could adequately describe the emotion that irradiated. Why did this person seem so forlorn, amiss? Bad news? Lost job? Relationship issues? It felt as if I was able to view the thoughts running through his mind and all I could feel was despair. For all that he had to face. I wondered what could be so disturbing, so unbelievable, to leave you almost numb.

Taking the time to, even for a moment, to imagine what his shoes could look like, left me dumbfounded at how easily we forget to see those around us. Yes we hurry along our varied business, but very rarely do we stop to consider the person standing in front of us in a line, or the person cashing at the register. They are in every sense, human, just like us. Yes we look at the people around us, but do we actually take the time to see them?

What is the Difference Between Looking and Seeing?

Upon investigating the etymology of the words; to look means to gaze, to behold or rather direct your eyes in a particular direction, like a glance. To see, on the other hand, means to observe, perceive, understand and inspect. In other words, you become aware of something or someone.
Thus, it is an awakening of the senses, where one becomes fully engaged in the experience.
This skill might come easily to some, but for others it must be cultivated.

I guess you can describe seeing, as an active use of sight, where one gives undivided attention and focus by concentrating on the situation you are presented with. It is not only noticing it but understanding it in its entirety, by giving your senses, time, patience and attentivity.

It reminds me of the lyrics from the song, Eyes Wide Open by Gotye.

It’s so easy to get overwhelmed with visual input, that we overlook the things that should matter. But if we don’t take stock and find the things worth seeing, we will eventually walk the plank with our eyes wide open. Failing to find the things in life that desperately need our attention. But never fear, with a little help, seeing doesn’t have to be too far from the looking.

Once a conscious decision is made and changes in lifestyle are adopted, you can find yourself transported to a deeper reality. It is so easy to miss the things of value when we don’t devote our focus steadfastly. When you not only look but finally see, oh the beauty that awaits in the experience. Could it not enhance our relationships and strengthen our self-knowledge? When you choose to actively see, you can live more passionately and profoundly, as nature, family and life come alive in a new way and with deeper understanding.

Just imagine that a life of black and white vision was your normal. But suddenly, colours flood your senses. How would you feel? What would you want to see and completely absorb? This is but a small metaphor of what can begin once you start seeing clearly.

That day I was able to see beyond myself. I was able to notice what I never took the time to do before. Sit and think about how the lives of others must run. How their experiences could be defined.

That day, the world really was my oyster. The pearl, the hidden prize of imparted wisdom.
For to really look, we first have to see.

From Now Finally Seeing,
Toodles 😊

PS - I do hope that peculiar mister is smiling wherever he may be.

Credit: pictures taken from Pinterest and Tumblr