YOUTHFUL INEXPERIENCE

in #humor8 years ago (edited)

pinterestClipartAccident.jpg

Buckeye Life and Casualty Company
233 Euclid Ave.
Cleveland, Ohio

Attn: John Preston

Dear Mr. Preston:

I am writing in response to your request for additional information regarding my recent near fatal accident. The consequence of which I am still recovering. In block #3 of the accident reporting form, that you sent me, I put “inexperience” as the cause of my accident. You said in your letter that you must have a fuller explanation of what happened and so I trust that the following details will be sufficient.

Since I am a recent high-school graduate and have not held a job prior to my present employment. My dad insisted that I put down my phone, game boy, and all my other electronic necessities and get a job. I was quite excited when I was able to secure this my first ever employment. I was hired as a “tender” for a crew of bricklayers. My accident occurred on the 4th day of my first week of employment. The project that the masons were working on had just been completed and so I was alone cleaning up the site and was on the roof of a new six-story building.

When the bricklayers left they pointed out that there was about 500 pounds of bricks and several large bags of mortar mix left over which had to be removed. Rather than carry the bricks and mortar down six floors by hand, I figured a way that I could save myself a great deal of time and labor. I decided to simply place them in a barrel and lower them to the ground by using a pulley, which fortunately, was attached to the side of the building at the sixth floor.

I secured the rope very carefully at ground level. Then I went back to the roof, swung the very large barrel out and loaded all the bricks and all the mortar into it. Immediately I went back to the ground and untied the rope, wrapping it securely around my wrist to insure a slow descent of the 500 pounds of bricks and bags of mortar. You will note in block #11 of the accident report form that I weigh 135 pounds.

Due to my youthful inexperience I was much surprised at being immediately catapulted off the ground. Again due to my inexperience, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to unwrap the rope from my wrist. Needless to say, I proceeded at an incredibly rapid rate of speed up the side of the building.

Somewhere in the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming down. This explains my fractured skull and broken collarbone. But the impact slowed me only slightly, and so I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley.

Unfortunately, by this time and again due to my youthful inexperience, I still did not have the presence of mind to unwrap the rope from my wrist. At this moment, the barrel of bricks and mortar hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Absent the weight of the bricks and mortar, the barrel now weighted approximately 50 pounds.

I refer you again to my weight in block #11. As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the building. Again, in the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles and the lacerations and contusions of my legs and lower body.

I continued my descent to the ground. Fortunately the encounter with the barrel slowed me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell onto the pile of bricks and mortar. Thankfully, only three vertebrae were cracked. However, I am sorry to report that as I lay there on the bricks and mortar in severe pain, I was unable to stand to my feet. And as I was watching the empty barrel dangling six stories above me, and due my lack of experience, I lost my presence of mind and ---- I NOW LET GO OF THE ROPE-----.

I hope this satisfactorily explains block #3 or my accident report.
Sincerely,

Devan R. Upton

*Image clip art from Pinterest

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