Saying No to No

Saying "No" is not always easy. People can get very upset when you say "No" abruptly. That's why I find it easier to soften the blow in tricky situations. Here's a few examples:

Q. Do you fancy going to bed early? ( cough, cough )

A. I haven't washed for three days but I'm game if you are.

Q. Have you ironed my shirts?

A. Which one were you thinking of?

Q. Can I have an Xbox One, Mum?

A. Is that for Christmas next year?

Q. Mum, will you pay my rent?

A. I'll have to ask your father but I warn you, he's in a bad mood.

Q. Mum, can we go on holiday this year?

A. It's not safe abroad. They don't have proper toilets and the people speak funny languages.

Q. Can we go to America then? I'm sure they have toilets and speak English.

A. You shouldn't believe everything you see on the telly.

Q. You know that story you tell about being related to the Queen. Is it true?

A. Yes.

Q. What about that story about you wrestling with an alligator? Is that true?

A. What is it with all these questions? It's like the Spanish Inquisition. Haven't I always told you to respect your elders?

Q. Is that a yes or a no?

A. I can't hear you. I think I'm losing my hearing.