My Husband Got Banned From Our Local Pizza Parlor

in #humor6 years ago

My husband has always had a bit of a bad boy personality. It's part of the reason I was attracted to him all those years ago. Thankfully, after he met me he calmed down (I had to train him) and he started adhering to the rules of society so we could build a life together. Still having this drive to be a rule breaker, my husband tries to find little ways to break norms and rules of society to feel like he's getting away with being a nonconformist.

Anyways, to the story:

Our local pizza parlor has this deal where on Tuesdays you can get slices of pizza for $1 each. The catch is you have to eat every dollar slice in the restaurant. My husband loves food and he loves cheap food. At first he adhered to the rules of this promotion very well. Every Tuesday for lunch he'd go to the pizza parlor, get his dollar slices, and eat them in the restaurant. Then, he got bored and greedy.

He liked getting dollar slices but hated having to sit in the restaurant. My husband hates sitting in restaurants. He's a big reason we never go inside to eat at places and always get take-out. My husband decided to break the rules. He started ordering three slices of $1 pizza. He'd eat one, then take the other two and leave. No one said anything.

He would do this all the time for months. Then, he started sneaking in his own drink sometimes. I should note, I didn't know about any of this or else I would have fussed at him. That's why he didn't tell me. He'd sneak a can of coke in his pocket and would eat his one slice then would leave. He got away with it. No one ever said anything to him.

Then, one night two weeks ago on Tuesday, I was with my husband and he wanted to get dollar slices. The local pizza parlor's pizza is terrible I think. I don't eat there. My husband agrees but he said you can't beat dollar slices. Anyways, it was around 9:00 at night. My husband said he was going to go in, get three dollar slices, eat one in the restaurant, then leave with his other two so we could go home. My daughter and I sat in the car and chilled while he got his pizza. We were the only one's there and the parking lot was empty.

After a while, my husband walks out to the car with his two leftover slices and gets in the car. As he's opening the door to the car and getting in, this very angry man runs out of the pizza parlor doors and heads for our car. I was instantly scared because this guy looked really angry and he started yelling towards my husband. My husband is in the car by the time the guy gets to us and he starts yelling. His face was red and he's screaming "You are banned from $1 pizza night! I don't want to see you back in here. You don't sit in the restaurant. You bring you're own drink!" My husband rolled up the window and hit the gas and we got the hell out of there at that point.

It's the craziest thing that's ever happened. We figured out from reading online reviews of the place that the guy was the owner of the place and most reviewers felt he was a jerk and was mean to customers. He was SO ANGRY! Over $1 pizza slices. I was okay that my husband sped off because the guy was standing at the drivers side window but his body was to near the backseat where our one year old was sleeping in her car seat. My husband said he'd never seen the guy before but from his comment about bringing his own drink he must have known my husband somehow.

But yeah...that's how my husband got banned from our local pizza parlor. After the incident my husband explained what he'd been up to so I wasn't confused and said he'd brought in his own drink a few times. He said that no one ever said anything while he sat at a table and if they had he would have stopped and followed the rules.

I did fuss at my husband for abusing $1 pizza day and lectured him on why he's stupid for breaking their rules when their pizza is so cheap. It's hard being married to a former bad boy. He's 40 years old now and his glory days of misbehaving are long behind him. He still remembers pranks and being wild as a teenager fondly. Some men just never grow up I guess. I'm glad he's banned so I don't have to worry about him getting in trouble there. Their pizza was terrible anyways.

photo credit: pixabay

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Now I have heard it all! LOL the bad boy of pizza! 😜

He is a very bad boy of pizza. Never thought I'd have to lecture him over abusing $1 pizza.

I may grow old but I'll never grow up. 😆

Oh so very true. He will never grow up for sure.

What fun is growing up? 🤣

That sounds like trouble!

I have yet to be banned from a place, but we did have to ban a lady when I worked at the photography studio. There were some pretty nasty obscenities being thrown around and she was trying to game the system.

I remember the lady at corporate looking through the images from the photo shoot. Her daughter had come in with a bow to pose with for photos. While the lady was looking over the session she said, "I'm glad I'm not over there, 'cause this is some Hunger Games shit."

Anyway, I hope your husband cand find some decent pizza, even if it's a bit more pricey.

That's so funny...trying to game the photography system. lol. We have other pizza places that are great and he's willing to pay for good pizza. I guess the temptation of $1 slices was too much of a good deal for him to pass up.

You can tell him from me that he's a total legend.

Never too old for that sort of stuff!

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@Yehey

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Oops, accidently upvoted my own comment. Never did that before. I feel so ashamed.

You're fine. You didn't even need to point that out. No judgement here.

Thanks. It was a first for me. Hopefully I won't do it again.

I upvoted your post.

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@Council

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Ahahaha! Now that was a fun read, Marx!

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