RFK Jr Admits Planting Dead Bear Cub in Central Park
Well, just when you thought anything about RFK Jr’s life couldn’t possibly get more bizarre, Mr. Kennedy has just posted a video confession admitting it was he who was responsible for what became a mystery viral news story a decade ago about a dead bear cub that was found in Central Park under an old bicycle. Kennedy said he was totally surprised at the time that the prank became such a big news story. Kennedy claimed what happened was he was driving somewhere to go falconing with friends when a woman in a van in front of him hit a bear cub and just kept going. Kennedy said he stopped and put the dead bear cub in the back of his van - planning to skin the dead animal for its meat later that night, but said appointments in the city didn’t give him time to go home that evening to do that, and he couldn’t just leave the bear in his van, so he and his buddies thought it would be funny to try staging an accident by planting the bear in Central Park and making it look like a bike rider killed it.
Now, I’ll be the first to admit I don’t know anything about the bear population in Central Park, but I do know the bears have pretty much taken over Wall Street these past few days! But come on! First, its the brain worm - and now this. This dude is a bona fide “super freak.” I mean, who knew things would ever get to the point where “that voice of his” would eventually become the “least” annoying thing about him?
I guess all we can do is just “grin and bear it.” Of course, it could have been much worse. I mean, him being a Kennedy and all, he could have put the bear cub inside some car and then pushed it off a narrow bridge. Next, I suppose he’ll claim he desperately attempted to revive the bear by using CPR. Man, what a sick fuck! What I’d like to know is, “Did anyone bother to check the bear cub's body for semen?”
Jesus, that damn “brain worm” must have done a helluva lot more damage than we're being told. I guess its time for Donald Trump Jr and all his trophies for murdering endangered species to “move the hell out the way!” There’s a new really fucked up “Junior” in town now, pal. Hell, next thing you know, we’ll read Kennedy’s been having an affair with puppy killer Kristi Noem. I mean, just how in the hell can a wacko like this be Bobby Kennedy’s son? All I can think of is he must have spent a good deal of his childhood eating lead paint chips.
Now, some of you may ask, “What kind of person goes “falconing,” anyway?” I mean, who wants to kill a fucking falcon? I thought “falconing” went out of vogue with the flappers back in the roaring 20s - although, come to think of it, I did have a friend who drove an old Ford Falcon back in college. Anyway, all I can say in RFK Jr’s defense is “I suppose a rich kid can only go yachting off Martha’s Vineyard so many times before it all starts getting really old.” So, how about showing a little compassion for Junior folks?