Appropriate places to text message

I've made an observation; People love to text message, check their social media account and generally stick their nose in their phone to the exclusion of all other things at any opportunity they have. Considering this I felt inclined to define and clarify some opportune moments to be text messaging. The list is not exhaustive however gives an idea of some of the most appropriate times one can text message or social-media and I assume the reader will expand on the list from there with consideration to their own personal needs. Here goes:

• Driving in your car:
  While you're driving around at any speed on any type of road in any traffic or environmental conditions. This is a very appropriate moment as you have the time to devote to your text message as you're not doing anything else except driving. Sometimes you could even multi-task by putting your children in the car at the same time. Perfect! Not looking at the road or paying attention? No worries, the other road users will do that for you.

• At the traffic lights:
  Again on the automotive theme this one is a great time saver and at a red light is a great place to text message. Don't worry about paying attention to the lights and missing the green. The cars ahead of you will move off no worries and the ones behind you? Well, it's their fault for being there in the first place so you're indemnified of any transgression and for holding up someone else's life.

• Walking through the shopping mall:
  What better way to keep in contact with your friends via text message and social media than when you're walking through a busy shopping mall crowded with hundreds of shoppers? You can tune out of the hustle and bustle by devoting your attention completely to your phone. Don't worry about walking into someone or impeding another shoppers progress. It's not your fault that they got in your way. Falling off the escalator because you didn't see the end coming up? No worries, it's totally legit.

• Whilst you're with a friend:
  This is another great time to text message. You can ignore your friend completely and focus on your other friends instead of wasting time socialising with the friend you're actually with. It's pure genius. In fact, you can bitch and whinge about the friend you're with to your other friends with impunity because they won't even know! The other variation is to text message to the friend sitting beside you! That way you don't have to waste any energy actually communicating. Brilliant!

• Whilst out enjoying the scenery hiking, or the sunset with your loved one or at an event:
  This text-appropriate-moment is the classic time to be texting. You wont have to complicate your life by actually engaging with it and there'll be another sunset tomorrow right? Out whale watching?...Forget about it, seen one seem them all! Don't waste your time, just get your head down and engage with your phone, not your life. Don't waste the moment.

I think you get the idea. There are so many appropriate moments to be text messaging or engaged single-mindedly on social media. The opportunities are limitless. Don't waste the time you've been given on this planet by failing to take every opportunity to engage ON YOUR PHONE with your friends and family, the person you're having an affair with or even some random person you don't know who made a comment on your duck-face selfie...Life's too short.

Note: Sarcasm means - The use of irony to mock or convey contempt.

design and create your ideal life, don't live it by default
@galenkp

Quite obviously this post is sarcastic. Waste your life if you want but if you text whilst driving you're an as^hole.

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