Let Me be Perfectly Honest: I'm Going to Lie

Trust me, you can't trust what other people tell you if you want to succeed. Authorities release information every day about the worst kinds of deception. You can rely on them to guide you through the complicated maze of claims made by your friends, financial advisors, lawyers, bosses, teachers, cops, and even your own research. Don't trust your own conclusions, but instead, always run them by an authority to see if they will help maintain the status quo.

Just turn on CNN, CNBC, or MSNBC to find the latest helpful tips from your senator or representative. If someone disagrees with someone else, don't bother thinking about it. Instead, wait and see what the TV tells you. Our personal capacity to reason things out has been severely damaged by school, and there is no recovering from that, so lay down your concerns and trust the mainstream media.

If you really like the idea of welfare, I have a plan. Find one other person who agrees with you. I will force you to give them $10, and I'll force them to give you $10. This way, both of you will have an extra $10, and from that, you can each pay me $2 for my service.