Sausage Party not for Kids? Uh... Duh. A Hilarious Review of the Movie from a Clueless Critic

Scanning the news headlines of the day, I came across an article titled "3 Reasons Sausage Party Is Way Too Inappropriate For Young Children." This has got to be good, I thought to myself.
link to the article

I'm 100% certain, however, that co-creators Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg -- the guys behind This is the End and Pineapple Express -- don't want you to bring your kids to this movie, despite the fact that it's animated.

Seriously? Was the R rating not enough to warn you against bringing your kids? Did you even watch the trailer?? Was the graphic, vulgar scenes in it ok but the movie went too far? Or did you simple ignore all this with the assumption that "oh it's animated, it must be for kids..."? Have you watched any TV in the last 20 years? Let's quickly go over a brief list of animated shows that are not for the tots.

South Park, Family Guy, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Robot Chicken, Rick and Morty, Archer, Moral Orel, Lucy the Daughter of the Devil, and I could go on and on...
This isn't even counting all of the adult Anime series and movies

The 3 reasons the critic believes this movie is not for children [SPOILERS]

1 - Non-stop cursing

...the guys seem to think it's really funny to have animated characters dropping F-bombs and talking about incredibly graphic sexual topics.

Uh, yah. It's fucking funny to swear and laugh at uncomfortable topics (that's how most comics make a living)

2 - Sexually graphic content

Most of the conversation between the sausage Frank (Seth Rogen) and his love interest, Brenda Buns (Kristen Wiig), involves sliding his meat between her buns... [and] there's a shot in Sausage Party of a bagel placing the ball sack of a pita bread on his face.

With the name of the movie being "Sausage Party" how can you not expect a plethora of crude dick jokes and teabagging?

3 - The theme will go over kid's heads

However, kids won't get it. They'll be confused about why the bagel and the pita bread are bickering over "holy" lands. Or why Frank keeps wanting to violate Brenda. Or why all of the non-perishable food items smoke so much weed.

Bahaha, this literally made me laugh out loud. Over the multitude of other reason's not to bring children to an obviously adult movie, the critic decided to go with kids won't understand the themes as one of their top 3 reasons not to bring kids.

Holy shit, that takes the cake. You know when I was a kid, whenever I left a movie I was always asking "what did you think of the themes?" ROFL