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RE: HOW TO RUiN AN EMPIRE EPISODE X: VADER ACADEMY

in #humor8 years ago

I was just looking at your feed yesterday to see if I'd missed any transmissions. Thank you for the update, belly laughs and incredible opportunity to learn knitting.
You might talk to (or choke) your marketing expert. Two main aspects of your pitch are absent

  • Doom and gloom, making your readers fear to do anything BUT attend the training
  • The promise of more being offered after the seminar... you know, the bait and switch where you tell them more will be available, then, while they're still in awe of learning they had a daughter and how to knit, fleece them for as much as you can before giving to them.
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Alas, our marketing efforts only work with Ashla (the Light Side of the force). But we hate to see missed opportunities, even for sith lords. Our purpose statement prohibits us to contract with the dark side.
Please don't tell Vader. He can be sooo touchy about these things. And his minions love claiming discrimination and all that PC nonsense. Sheesh!

This "bait and switch" thing sounds interesting. I have never heard of that. But I don't have time. Right now I need to get to work on the next phase of the training. It is a premium level of Sith trading which can be yours for the low price of $35,000. The free work shop can only take a person so far. If they want to truly master the Dark Side and get some one on one time with my highly trained instructors, they will need they premium level course. But it will pay for itself.

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