it actually made me sad

i just knew that my bestfriend for years doesnt rlly know me because i wasnt telling him those 'kind' of thoughts because he's busy studying back at those times and i dont wanna disturb or something. and everytime he says how thankful he is for having such a positive person that i am makes me sad. like i thought u know me more than anyone else. but no, i, myself, know me more than anyone else.