At the root of my pain & at the heart of my love

I lie and say that what I'm feeling puts the world at fault, myself at fault, or a reason at fault. But no, this is not true. What is true and I can not speak to a soul of, is you. You are true. Your smile is true, your heart is true, your love is true, your caring is true, your emotion is true, and what I feel for you is undeniably true.
So as I stand here in amazement, looking at you in all your wonder, I can't help but feel pain.
Pain because you'll never be mine. I'll never wake up to your smooth skin and soft voice. Pain because you are but a friend, and whether I'll see you again I don't know.
Pain because I want you so bad!
Pain because I have to quarantine this feeling and that alone is so hard to suppress.
Go away! I say to it every morning and night. Leave me be! Can you not see that they are not the one for me? No matter how much I long for you, what can never be true is us being together. Our kiss will never be true, for it will never be. You and I will never be.
How painful that is, and you- you are at the root of it all my love.
💔