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RE: I'm trying to stay positive, but it looks dark from here

That would have been a downburst, part of a dissipating thunderstorm.
Your grasshopper appears to be a katydid. I remember seeing them occasionally on our side of the hill, but not every year.

I hope your muscle heals quickly. Lemongrass is strangely good on muscle issues, so you might try rubbing a little of that in - carefully, mind!

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As soon as you said katydid, my brain went "Duh!" Of course! I will have to try lemongrass. That's a good idea.

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We all have those moments - especially when we're hurting!

Thank you for giving me an out! Haha! My brain is not running at full capacity these days.

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