Here's How We Came to Our Decision to Home-school

Hi! Welcome to @my-coconut-life. Thanks for taking an interest.

I am at a point in my life where I feel ready and have something of some value to share (to some at least- I think). I work (very) part-time as an allied health professional, I am 1 of 3 siblings, I have a dad who lives a couple of oceans away and a mum who passed away (10 years ago- [rest in peace mum]). I am a friend to those I love and respect and a mostly alright wife to a mostly alright husband! (he really is kind, interesting, hardworking, blah,blah blah). I am last to mention (but by far not least) also a mum to 3 children aged 1, 3 & 7, who constantly amaze me, keep my heart open and keep me on my toes!

This blog is about how we came to choose homeschooling over state schooling. In 2014 we were looking at schools for our eldest daughter (because that's what most people do right? We were following the crowd like sheep but we had giant freakish ears which made us a little less sheep like). We considered 2 local state schools and a Steiner school (I'd heard about these schools through a close friend who studied child psychology). It looked more in line with our wishes for our children but the costs involved were not yet affordable for us. Also, since learning about un-schooling, Steinerosphy is no longer so appealing to us. Although I loved the age groupings and teaching of respect for our differences, it now seems more oppressive and controlling to what we are aiming for. Saying this, I still have much respect for it.

Home-schooling seems to be a popular topic at present, with radio channels and newspapers talking about it on a frequent basis. Current UK statistics have noted a significantly increased number of children being home-schooled in the last 10 years. There are so many different reasons and paths that lead to it and I want to share our journey.

Our eldest daughter went into a mainstream school in 2015 which was accredited 'GOOD' under the UK's Government OFSTED standards. We had no serious concerns about the school and I had never even thought about home-schooling/unschooling until a few things happened.

1- My cousins moved into their new home, which they told me was previously owned by a home-schooling family. This information lay dormant in my mind but soon pieced together with a whole bunch of other information.
2- From 2015-2016 our eldest was doing well at school, she had taken to reading, maths and arts with a natural flare but was always complaining about stomach aches and occasional headaches.
3- From 2016-2017 she was talking about being bored in the classroom and reported that she had some difficulties with peers. We went to see the doctor twice about her stomach aches and there were no signs of anything physically wrong but, the doctors suggested that they might be triggered by anxiety. This possibility made us think about the causes and changes that might need to be made. We reflected on our own behaviours and routines from her and our own perspectives.

I was working part time and had 3 children by November 2016. In her relatively short life, our eldest daughter had incurred a lot of change in her life from environment, loss of grandparents through death and locality as well as becoming a big sister twice and starting school..... She saw me with her 2 younger siblings when she went to school and when being picked up. She knew that she was missing out on something by going to school Monday-Friday and wanted to be a part of our lives at home.

4- Then, one day I randomly came across an article on Linkedin about home-schooling which sparked the flame!! (unfortunately I can not find it now but it was about raising successful children through home-schooling) I read and read and read some more about it and watched TED talks (here are a couple of links below).
https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=h11u3vtcpaY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=iG9CE55wbtY

Anyway.... in April 2017 I ran the idea past my husband who was intrigued. I checked with our eldest and she loved the idea of being at home with her younger siblings and learning at home.

Super imposed daddy here! (Usually his head is MUCH bigger!)

However, no matter how enthusiastic I felt, there was a big 'BUT' which stuck to my side. (Heehee)
This was because we had concerns about her potentially limited contact with other peers (especially as a naturally sociable person). I know the importance of interpersonal relationships and so it was a real sticking point for me. I soon searched and found facebook groups for home-schoolers/unschoolers. I was relieved to find some in my area. I sent requests to join groups and finally I was contacted by @redrica.

We all arranged to meet at a park. She has 2 amazing girls of very similar ages and we all hit it off so well and I was informed of local home-school groups and families which satisfied me enough that taking our eldest out of school was the right thing to do. Plus I recognised that peer socialisation would be much more vast with home-schooling and that there is great benefit in communicating, playing and learning with a wider variety of age groups.

My husband and I spoke again and he was supportive. We agreed that if it didn't work out we could apply for schools once again!??? So..... we did it. We wrote to the school to inform them of our decision. It does feel like a bit of a gamble but one which has a positive immediate effect on the family's well-being and well, life is one huge gamble but we are going in fully conscious with this decision and fairly well informed with only the best of intentions.

The decision to home-school was not so hard to come to but the road to making it a working reality was a bit tougher. We had to make some major life steps in order to make it a viable option financially and practically. My husband and I found new jobs and had to reduced some debts as well as secure our home. We do not have much (available) family around us unfortunately and could not have done this without support from my dear darling bro (steeming at a space near you soon- hopefully!). And @redrica, her lovely husband and family.

We are eternally grateful to have met them and look forward to many good times ahead! We continue to explore our home-schooling community and make ties which is very important to us. We view the home-schooling community as an indispensable resource for the children's growth, for support and for a laugh.

Another challenge has been about our philosophy and approach to home-schooling, the frustrations and inner conflicts (of formalised learning vs un-schooling) I'll share my struggle with that ongoing challenge another time!

For now, it is time for me to take a break..... Adios