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i am sure about one thing, i am clearly confused about which one i am LOL,.. i watched them all, i do see parts of all within me, meaning i could take on about all of them,.. but i don't clearly feel the internal "need" to be one, although i do feel that my book can really change the way that our reality is perceived, both in and out of a religious perspective, my whole accomplishment for writing this booknovelmovie thing, is to answer the question of what may be mankinds greatest question, "why does God allow suffering" that is the whole intent of my book, but the story dominates my life,... it's like something i can't control,.. everything relates to the book,.. its crazy,.. all the truth (of life)is explained within my novel, yet it is very sci fi, relating 3 realms to a one realm dynamic, is difficult when dealing with 2 realms that are phantasmal. i need to probably write a prologue first,... i don't know how to write a book,.. all i know is the story as it is,.. and how it all relates to each other, then there is my tangible art, my assemblage,... then my mining for blue agate at my mine,... so 3 things dominate my life, the blue agate is like finding gold, the value is crazy, i work the mine 5 hours a day every day by myself,... nobody knows anything about it,... i don't harmonize with but a few people... perfectly happy being alone to work on my projects,...i am super complex individual with multiple head traumas (pre-teen) so my thinking is highly erratic,.. is this your father? you and he looks somewhat similar (i am guessing by the time frame of which the film was taken.

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