Are Dowries Dehumanizing”

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It feels good to be here again guys! Of course this beautiful contest topic attracted me, our dear admin came up with such a beautiful contest for the week, it's such a thoughtful topic I must say. I would love to share my view guys and I really do hope you find my entry interesting. Let's get into it right away.

^{Share your understanding of the concept “Dowries are dehumanizing”.}

I think I would like to start my discussion from Dowry as a concept. Payment of dowry is a concept that has been practiced from way back by our fore fathers and somehow we still have it today because to me, the purpose and motive behind it is what counts.

Dowry is that due paid to the bride or grooms family (as the case may be) to reciprocate the kind gesture shown to the family for willing to let you have their child . On the path of the man, he is trying to communicate the fact that, he acknowledges the labour of the parent on the child over the years and such act should be cheerfully compensated.

Dowry is not a payment that should make one run bankrupt or break a bank to fulfil, it is actually something within the reach of the groom, it should be a token of appreciation for moral upbringing of a child.

Unfortunately what we have today as dowry is an overwhelming list of things and money to be paid in order to get an acceptance from the family. Checking out some of the list in most part of the world especially in Africa, would make you think they actually want to cash out on their daughter for all the labour of the past years...

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This is where the concept of property comes in, the abuse of dowry make the person on whom it's paid looks like a property that is acquired because these dowries are not even returned back like the way some families in some part of Africa do.

So if you come up with a conclusion that Dowries are dehumanizing, well I would agree with you to an extent because of the abuse but bear in mind that from the begining, it was not so...

^{What are the kinds of material or monetary items demanded as Dowry in your community.}

A whole lot of stuff is being demanded these days, the dowry is not a stand alone payment, it comes with some list of items to be made available to fulfil all righteousness. While I do not totally like the idea of giving a man an overwhelming list of items, I still think it fair to give him things he can easily get if that culture must be followed. Some of these things include

• A Box (For clothing)
• Wrappers
• Yam
• Hot/Gin/Beer
• soft Drinks
• Rice
• Palm Oil
• Groundnut Oil
• Salt
• Fruit (All kinds) and
• The Money (Dowry)

These are some common list, I bet it's not even complete because it usually exceed these in most family and culture, so what I have here is just an idea of what the items look like. The money there is the real deal, they would specify how much should be brought in cash apart from the other itemized stuffs.

^{Should Dowry be considered a Social Evil? Explain}

With what it looks like today, yea, it's a subtle social evil as people hide under the umbrella of Dowry to exploit young people who are well meaning and trying to build a home of their own. I do not support inconvenienting people to satisfy your own personal interest.

Some families are so brutal that they put in their list their personal needs, especially when they have observed that the man in question is well to do...I mean has money. They would want to milk him dry because they feel there won't be another opportunity to do so...

This is bad and I can never be in support of this. Their daughter would eventually go live with him after all have been said and done, but what would life look like after all the dues, will they have enough to kickstart the forever journey? Would the man consider the woman as her precious God given gift or some kind of property he has just acquired? These and many more are the questions in laws should begin to ask themselves.

^{What should be considered a solution to Dowries? Expatiate.}

Well I would say moderacy in all should be the ideal. The real purpose and motive for dowry is not for exploitation. If we can go back to the drawing board we would get it right. Dowry should be a token, so little that a young man can comfortably afford and if he wants to do more, it's welcomed.

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And on the path of the bride's family, if they can, they should return the dowry back to the groom (Family) it is the highest form of kind gesture as touching this marital process. By collecting it at first shows they acknowledged the dowry, returning it communicates a deep message that we are pleased with you and we choose to give you our daughter at no cost. We trust you would take good care of her.

If only we can adopt the above mentioned methods. Things would be a whole lot better, as young men would not be afraid to take wives from certain geographical location because they are not sure what list would be given to them and most especially what they would be ask to pay as dowry even as a young man.

Conclusion

Sometimes, abuse are just inevitable especially in the area of marriage and marriage preparation. The issue of dowry payment is just some means of exploitation for some family and this is where the abuse of purpose set in. I believe in the begining it was not so.

Our fathers had a great time reaching out to the families of our mothers and they didn't have to break a bank to meet the demands for the wedding. Can we go back to the drawing board?....

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Regards
@lhorgic❤️

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