"Are Dowries Dehumanizing?”
Introduction |
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Dowries are the material things or money a man or woman pays to marry a wife or husband (in the culture of those who do this). As mentioned above, dowries could be material items or money.
Share your understanding of the concept “Dowries are dehumanizing”. |
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The concept of dowries was to strengthen the bond of marriage and to make the one who is paying the dowries know the worth of the person (woman) he is going marry that she is not a cheap woman. In other words, dowries acted as a link that connected both families.
In those days, there were just a few items and the marriage would be conjugated. Items such as:
Assorted soft drinks e.g soft drinks, palm wine, local gins.
Wines and spirits
A live goat
Fish
Wrappers and other properties
cola-nuts/snuff
Tubers of yam
Money
But these days, you see people including
Building or renovation of the bride's family house building
Generator
Television
Motor bike/car
Heavy amount of money
And other exorbitant extortions
Should Dowry be considered a Social Evil? Explain |
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A screenshot of my traditional marriage
No, dowries should not be called a social evil because the payment of dowries from the beginning wasn't like that the behaviour of our people, changed. Imagine a man who is asked to build or renovate the family compound of the would-be wife before he can marry her as part of the marriage list. I mean, who does that? Or is it about the marriage list that includes items for street youths and items for dead grandparents as part of dowries? It's truly annoying the way my people make dowries look.
Most families feel giving their daughters hands out in marriage is an avenue for them to be rich. I remember my father who wanted 1.5 million naira for my bride price. My kinsmen wanted 100 litres of palm wine, for what? Are they going to bath with it? The question I asked them.
My husband was told to go and come back after my kinsmen drank all the drinks he brought for my consultation. In their opinion, they wanted to punish him. For what? I got furious and went out to confront them.
What should be considered a solution to Dowries? Expatiate. |
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I am not against the collection of dowries, but I'm simply against the new addition some families, villages and tribes have added to the dowries.
The practice of dowries should be continued. It shouldn't be talk of war for the would-be husband who wants to marry. Let dowries be minimal, the family should also be considerate, knowing that their children are not meant to be sold off to the husband.
For our own daughter, my husband and I have already agreed that we won't make it difficult for anyone who'll marry her. For us parents, we won't take anything. And the kinsmen won't have a say, but their rights will be duly given to them.
Conclusion |
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Being considerate in the payment of dowries makes it possible for our youths to get married and settle down early in life and start their own families. If the generation of our parents has failed, let our own generation be kind, considerate and modelled. Not the greedy and glutinous generation.
I'm inviting @realitytrend, @impersonal and @hudamalik20
You wrote so well on this Dowry matter, our generation needs to be considerate about extorting lot of money from the would-be groom, we shouldn't follow the lay down rules our parent set.
Like you mentioned above, how the groom will be asked to renovate an old building of the bride's parents house and also for him to buy some items for the dead grandparents... This is a very wrong thing to put on the marriage list.
Is only God that will deliver us from all these.
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