Are Dowries Dehumanizing - 26/06/2024

Hello, fellow friends in the house! I want to appreciate the organizer of this context and wish everyone the best in the week ahead. Thank you @chant for the contest.

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Share your understanding of the concept “Dowries are dehumanizing”.

Dowry is a payment or gift made to the bride's family by the groom's family or from the bride's to the groom's family depending on the culture, during the marriage. But in my culture, the groom paid the dowry.

It's done to show appreciation for accepting to be a husband and wife,and the dowry can be in the form of goods, jewelry, land, or a male child in exchange for a wife where the groom's parents do not have money or any related thing to pay, as it was in my culture in the ancient days.

In my culture, particularly, payment dowry is a sign of respect for one giving out his daughter in a marriage where the entire close and extended family and neighbors will come and rejoice together.

In a marriage where dowry is not paid, in case the man divorces the woman, the bride's parents can sue the husband in a court of law or can claim the children if the woman gives birth to him.

And where dowry is paid,and the woman divorces the man, he can claim back what he has paid as dowry, even if she has children with him if so wishes.

Dehumanizing is the act of making somebody lose his human qualities such as kindness and prestige.It involves treating individuals as less than human.

Dehumanization can lead to marginalization, stigma, oppression, and violence.

What are the kinds of material or monetary items demanded as Dowry in your community?

I am a typical West African being from one of the minority ethnic groups in North Central Nigeria.

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In my community, both money and materials are given. Some certain amount of money is given to the bride's kinsmen,mother, and parents i.e. father,mother, and the entire family.

Besides that, the materials to be given to the bride's parents are five basins of local beans well prepared with some fowls, and two goats.

Besides these,four crates of beers and soft drinks and locally made alcohol are also presented.

Should Dowry be considered a Social Evil? Explain

No!! No!! No!!!. Dowry should not be considered as a social evil because it binds a marriage relationship. It's a sign of respect by both families i.e groom and bride.

Payment of dowries brings families of different backgrounds together to be one family.

What should be considered a solution to Dowries? Expatiate.

While, to me,there should not be any alternative to dowries, but,if I may suggest it should be just an exchange of items between them. And an occasion should be organized by the two families where eating and drinking should be done.

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In addition, the family should invest in the education of the bride's family, for the future productivity of the family, because there is no development without education.

Responsibilities should be shared by both families since the two parties are happy for the union that is established within them.

Couples should also manage their financial responsibility together. They should see marriage as an everlasting union but not as contract, where it can terminate at will at any time.

In a nutshell, dowry is important in marriage relationship. My community considered some tokens and materials like local beans, fowl goats, beers, and soft and local drinks.

The alternative to dowries should be an exchange of gifts and sharing of responsibilities within the couples.

This is my story for the week and I would like to invite @vickyson @josepha and @simonnwigwe to join the contest.