Requiem For A Lost Love - Part Six

I don’t remember when I fell asleep. It was refreshing. And then it all started to come back. The things that I did just this noon.

What have I become? A monster no less. I just came back from killing a guy and now slept like a log beside Jenny.
For some reason, she did not leave though.

The sun has gone down quite a bit. Did jack come back yet? I have so many questions to ask him.

It’s a new feeling for me, finding her beside me after waking up. Not that we didn’t ever share any intimate moments. I kissed her all the time. But here, right now, she’s like a completely unknown person to me. Like I’m getting to know her for the very first time.

Don’t remember the last time ever, me paying much attention to her facial details. Blond hair, a small mole in the left side of her cheek and that long chin, such looks are like drugs, poisoning my mind, dragging me towards her.

Might there be anything left for me at the end except destruction? Will I be able to survive my inner demon till the end? How the fuck did I just killed a guy? Where did I get this unwanted rage from? So many questions. Yet I have no answer.

Should I kiss her when she’s so unprotected? Will she feel violated? I think I have at least earned that much closure with her. The right to caress her while she’s so vulnerable.

I moved closer to her face, so close that I can smell her breath. So warm. I put my lips gently on her forehead.
She starts waking up. Her face is so close to mine.

“Hey, babe”. With a sleepy voice, she addresses me. Even her sleepy voice sounds like ambiance in forests.

“How long have I been asleep?” She asked me while rubbing her eyes.

“It’s 6 now”

“That long? I have to go home. Or my mom will kill me”. She got up quickly and started fixing her dress and hair.

“Did we..?” I immediately knew what she was trying to mean.

“No, I think,” I replied while trying to sit up beside the bed.

“We didn’t drink or smoke to forget a fuck, did we?” My futile attempt at making a joke.

But that did something.

She slowly crept in towards me with such a look in her eyes only comparable to a lioness looking at her prey. She sat on my lap and in a lucid dream-like moment she kissed me passionately. I could feel her emotions flowing through me with her every bite on my lips. Where were these hidden? The innocent Amish like girl is now kissing the guy who killed her lover, who she spent the night before with. How people change so fast.

She put her lips close to my ear, just before putting her lips on it, she murmured,

“Miss me while I’m gone”

That did it, putting the last pin on my coffin. While she’s kissing my earlobes, my thoughts get all tangled. Exactly at that moment, it was clear to me. That I will not be able to survive in this world without her.

To be continued...

^{Cover photo from Pixabay}