The Winter Dump

You're the kind of person who can't leave things unsaid.

You want closure because you can’t fully understand what happened to you. And without this, you find it difficult to let go and move on...

So, what???

You're entirely within your rights to seek closure; you shouldn't be left in the dark or made to feel foolish.

Hmm...

While it’s your right to ask for answers, if none come, consider silence as your "closure."

But here, it becomes tricky...

Why????

Because

You're not one of those people who just don't care. You have to care.

_{if you're not as thick-skinned as this beautiful rose... well, you're f***}

Have you ever had such conversations with yourself? Maybe, it's one of those days, this weather, or some experiences that make you question things, mostly your own behavior, your own traits, and why you are the way you are. What if you were another person? But then that other person wouldn't be you? Or would it?

Let's not bore you with all these philosophical thoughts. My father once told me: "This self-contemplation don't let a person find peace. People who think less stay happy." But what can we do? Nature has made our hearts so sensitive that no matter how hard we try, nothing passes without catching our attention.

_{I'm going to turn these rings of wisdom aging into something special soon!}

Did you notice that I've suddenly shifted to the possessive determiner "our" because it's just not me who feels this way. It can't be... It shouldn't be!

Anyways:

خرد کی گُتھّیاں سُلجھا چُکا مَیں
مرے مَولا مجھے صاحِب جُنوں کر!

اقبال

It can be roughly translated to:

I have solved the riddles of reason,
O my Lord, grant me the state of ecstasy

No amount of translation can capture the essence of this verse. But let's try:

In his poetry, Allama Iqbal (the famous poet) often delves into the concept of 'khirad' (reason or intellect) and its limitations. In this famous verse, he emphasizes and reflects on the constraints of reason and yearns for a higher, more profound state of being.

Ecstasy: the state of trance or frenzy. Is it the reason why people get high? Are they fed up with reasoning? Or is it the easy way out? Just block everything, and then you don't have to question or answer. In short: stop feeling!

A quick fix. Right???

Like this dalgona coffee of mine. Buzzzz ❌❌❌. Wrong example. It wasn't a quick fix. You have to cream together sugar, coffee, and water in just the right ratio and beat it like hell to get this consistency.

In the fiery depths of our souls, we can experience elation and euphoria: moments of profound self-awareness that ignite our spirits. Yet, there is no escape from this intense journey; we are bound to confront and embrace the flames that shape our existence.

Ah!

Stop with this bullshit already... Who is going to read this dry piece of sh...?

What the heck, this song's been playing in the background (of my mind) since I sat down to write this... Should I say 'post' or 'winter dump'?

Yeah
You are my fire
The one desire
Believe when I say

I want it that way

But we are two worlds apart
Can't reach to your heart
When you say
That I want it that way

Tell me why

Ain't nothin' but a heartache

Tell me why

Ain't nothin' but a mistake

Tell me why

I never wanna hear you say

I want it that way

Am I your fire?

Your one desire?

Nostalgia, nostalgia, nostalgia!

I know you can look up the lyrics yourself, still...