Your Attitude While Rendering Help
A lot of people keep re-emphasizing the need to help people. Of course, it is a very noble thing to do, at least to help someone in need, which is part of what our humanity suggests. However, you need to understand that the attitude you display when you help people will definitely influence the impact and the perceived worth of the gesture. How you make people to feel when you are helping them will become even more significant than the help itself. That you are helping someone does not mean that you should berate them and make them feel less of themself. This is why I normally tell people that "your attitude holds more importance than your assistant."
There was a story that was share with me by my friend about what happened to him. When he went for his clearance for his mandatory Youth Service, so he needed to spend a couple of days in that state to wrap up everything. Due to the fact that he did not have enough money on him to lodge in a hotel throughout his stay there, he met with a distant relative who stays in that place, so as to stay with her during the period. What he saw there kept him wondering how cruel someone would be, talk more of someone from the same family line with him. She made his stay very uncomfortable that he just wished for everything to be over so that he would leave the place.
When she would leave the house, she would lock her kitchen. So he would go outside to buy food to eat. Throughout his stay there, she only gave him food once and the food was given to him like he was a beggar. At a point, he started questioning if he had done anything wrong or if someone else did something wrong on his behalf to the woman. On the day the clearance was concluded, it was already late in the evening, but instead of staying over and leaving in the morning, he took night bus. In his word, he said that the risk of travelling by night is better than staying one more night there. It is true that she accommodated him, but her attitude made a mess of the help.
When you are helping people, you also need to understand that what you have is just a privilege and that tomorrow, the same person can be in a position to help you too. While helping someone, do not remind them that they are less privileged or that you are better than them. Let your help be out of genuine care, with respect, not with reluctance, nor in a condescending manner. Most times, it does not matter if your help has met the immediate need of the recipient, but what will become of their emotions afterwards? Remember that when you hurt people's emotions, the scars may stay longer than physical hurt.
Your attitude is what shows the intention behind the action, and it speaks louder than even what you have done. When you have a good intention to help someone, it will show in your attitude. You will see love, respect, and care in the action. It will also rekindle hope in the heart of the recipient to know that, at least, humanity still exists. But if someone has a negative intention in their help, the overall purpose of the help will be defeated and it may even make the person to begin to think less of themself as being unworthy and below par. Your help should portray sincerity, it should not be a tool for judgement.
I have come to realise that someone's attitude is a direct reflection of their character and what goes on in their heart. If someone treats you with a nasty attitude, you should understand that it may not be because of you but because of who the person is. That you occupy a better position than someone does not mean you should demean them when trying to offer help to them. The relevance of help is to make the person to feel better, not to put the person into emotional downtime. If people feel sad after you have helped them, then you have not really helped them but you have just abused them emotionally. Let your help be a true help indeed.
Thanks for reading
