Taking the Needed Time to Grow - Oubaitori

I see how natural it is for us, humans, to judge each other based on how much we've done or failed to do - forgetting that we are always doing the best we can in any given moment. I often remind myself of this perspective: if someone could do “more” here and now, they would! They would give and do more. But they simply can't. Whether it's due to a lack of skill, awareness, resources - or because other needs are stronger for them in this moment. We can see this as their personal limit, rather than as our fault. We can look at it as a natural limitation of Life - just as each of us has our own limitations to accept - instead of using it as a weapon against the other! If this sounds unclear, here’s a direction for personal reflection:

Don’t I also have areas in my life where I struggle to progress as much as I’d like? We all do! And when we start heading toward thoughts like, “Why is he or she acting this way? Don’t they see that…?” -it seems to me that this is exactly the moment to remind ourselves of our own difficult areas. This is when our inner observer can help us realize that we are on the very same path as the person we are judging! And then, the focus shifts - not on fixing something for someone else, not on leading them (uninvited) into our own understanding - but on listening and connecting!

Because we recognize the taste of what the other person is experiencing, and we have acknowledged that within ourselves. The Japanese have an idiom, "Oubaitori," which deeply resonates with this idea. It reminds us to focus on our own growth instead of comparing ourselves to others, and that each of us has our own tempo in life. 🌻