"I often visualised how I wanted the shoot in my head and was disappointed when it didn't look like that" yes i can imagine that , "mentally modelling was pretty crap" yes that's what they say , "I was a size 8 in my mid 20s and always felt fat and ugly and old" oh my - what the hell you look more than beautiful & with a perfect body , "Now I am older I am so much happier with myself and ironically am more attractive to people" bravo -also you are not that old haha , "when I was modelling I was so shy and insecure no one ever spoke to me" insecure i can understand it - shy is pretty unexpected - "no one ever spoke to me" u must be kidding -i mean look at u :)