What is a Mangni?
Will you marry me? Will you be mine? Put a ring on it.
I'm sure y'all have heard and seen this countless times. These sort of acts are usually followed in the West, where a couple, when they decide it's time to get married, the male usually proposes the girl with ring on his knees. We get to see this a million times in movies and TV series, so much so that even the Eastern countries have somewhat started following this.
Contrary to this, Muslim countries have different customs regarding relationships. In these countries, live-in relationships and getting down on one knee to propose are not common practices. Infact live-in relationships are downright forbidden and punishable by law in some countries. Relationships before marriage are strictly prohibited in Islam, although they do occur in various Muslim countries.
So how does an engagement take place in Pakistan?
Note: an engagement ceremony has nothing to do with the religion, Islam. Infact, there's nothing called as an engagement in this religion. The only two compulsory events for a marriage are, Nikkah and Valima (I'll tell you about it in a separate post)
So why do Pakistanis host engagement events, and why are they so common? The reason lies in the cultural affiliation with India over the past centuries. Pakistan and India were a single country before gaining independence from the British in 1947. This shared history has led to the continuation of many customs in Pakistan that are not rooted in Islam but in the subcontinental culture. These include hosting grand wedding events and various pre-wedding ceremonies such as Mangni (engagement), Mayon (a pre-wedding ceremony where the bride is beautified with turmeric), and Mehndi (a festive night of henna application). These traditions reflect the deep cultural ties and shared heritage between Pakistan and India. Despite religious differences, these cultural practices have persisted.
Engagements in Muslim cultures typically follow a more traditional and family-oriented approach. The process often involves the families of the couple meeting to discuss and agree on the union, with the engagement being a formal agreement between the families. This usually includes a small ceremony where the couple may exchange rings or gifts, and the event is often celebrated with close family and friends. These customs emphasize the importance of family involvement and adherence to cultural norms.
Normally, there's segregation between the male and female sides in Muslim wedding events. This is a cultural as well as a religious norm where we believe that each gender would be more comfortable within their own. The Mangni event that I attended recently was of my best friend. He decided to throw a huge party for his Mangni event as you can judge by the pictures as well.
Both the girl's and the boy's side of the families are invited alongside some close friends. These Mangni events usually take place before and sometimes right next day of the Nikaah
There are no hard and fast rules of what should and shouldn't be included in a Mangni and it all depends upon the agreement between the two families and the budget that the groom can afford. My friend decided to host multiple performances on his mehndi event which included a stand-up comedy show, a dance performance, a reputed singing band and lots of other extravaganza.
I don't usually dance in public but since it was my best friend's Mangni and we were only boys, I decided to ahow them all some of my expert dance moves. 😭🤣
Lots of gifts are exchanged in grand Mangni events like this. I mean, if I were to put the value of gifts in dollars it'd easily be more than $10,000. But, once again, not all Mangni events are like this, such as my brother got engaged last year and we had a very small engagement event at our place where only close family members were invited.
I hope you all had a good read. I invite you to read the other post:
