Psychology Ramble: What Does Anger REALLY Tell Us?

I was looking through old photographs earlier today, and came across some of my father. He died when I was 18, and one of the things many people (including myself) remembered about him was that he was quick to anger, and he would get angry about all sorts of things.

A lot of people dismiss anger as "bad;" a negative and destructive emotion. As a child and teenager, I certainly agreed with that — I feared the explosiveness of an adult man's anger.

A lot of other people embrace anger, saying it's "a natural part of being human." I can't deny that is true, but that doesn't make it positive, in my opinion.

What Lies Below?

But what is anger, really? Regardless of whether we fall on the "good" or "bad" side of the equation, what does it teach us, if anything?

Anger is the body's "alert system" that something is happening that is notably different from how we want it to be. When we feel anger, it is usually because some kind of inner boundary has been overstepped... and we suddenly realize that whatever is unfolding right now is not what we want.

In its positive expression, anger is essentially a "call to action;" a message that we need to step up and do something to remedy a situation that is not how we want it to be. And action doesn't have to mean "a violent outburst," as many of those who dislike anger seem to believe it "must" be.

I spent many years operating under that assumption and actively avoiding having any angry feelings because my only model for how to express anger was my father... and he tended to do so in violent and destructive ways.

Since I never got to spend time with him as an adult, I was never really able to determine why he was an angry person so often. Seemed like somehow he was not happy with the hand life had dealt him, even though he had fared very well for himself.

But life falling short of our dreams and expectations can take very different shapes, depending on who you are talking to!

But getting back to anger, in it's healthy manifestation it can simply be expressed as action and determination. It's what gets to to get up, say "enough is ENOUGH!" and start the work to change something that is bothering you.

As I have learned — with age and counseling — there is no need to throw stuff, or break chairs over people's heads! What I have also learned is that anger is a whole different thing from simply being ill-tempered.

Thanks for reading, and have a great remainder of your week!

How about YOU? How is your "relationship" wit anger? Do you try to avoid it, or does it feel natural? Have you known any people who seemed to BE angry, rather than just FEEL angry? Give me a shout back... Because — after all — SOCIAL content is about interacting, right? Leave a comment — share your experiences — be part of the conversation!

(All text and images by the author, unless otherwise credited. This is ORIGINAL CONTENT, created expressly for this platform — NOT A CROSSPOST!!!)
Created at 20210203 23:04 PST
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