Love or Lament?
We humans do seem to expend a lot of both time and energy on the process of complaining about this-‘n-that in the world… usually the result of some form of awareness of ”things gone wrong” with an activity, business, hobby, movement or whatever that we feel a connection to.
It’s almost like someone ”polluted the waters” of our favorite fishing hole... so we kick up a fuss.
Of course, it’s easy to get so wrapped up in what is wrong that we forget/overlook what’s right.
And — typically — a lot of things are right in the world… but perhaps we come to take them for granted because they reliably show up in our lives and ”add a little bit,” come rain or shine... but it's seldom big and sensational so we don't pay it much mind.
Which invites the question of whether we are paying more attention to LOVE or to LAMENT, in our worlds.
People will often say that the opposite of love is hate, but I don't actually think that's true. I think the opposite is fear. Fear of all the things that might hurt us and not feel loving... and the fear that drives us to commit not very loving acts.
I’m certainly not pretending to hold myself above having a good gripe session now and then, because there are plenty of injustices and wrongs in the world… and — as the old truism goes — ”Silence is Acceptance.”
Sometimes it bears remembering that a lot of the things we complain about are actually beyond our control and while our bitterness might well be justified, we couldn’t have done anything any differently to change the outcome.
My former ”career” as a technical writer gradually fizzled because what I did was outsourced to SE Asia where the company could get the same work done for 1/3 the cost.
The best ”real” job I ever had suddenly ended because I was laid off due to a corporate merger.
I missed a potentially life-changing investment opportunity because a massive accident on the highway left everyone sitting there for three hours while the carnage was cleared. I arrived too late.
Such things are simply the world, or maybe ”the hand of fate,” if you prefer.
Mostly, we face lesser troubles, all the way down to someone rudely snatching a parking space, right in front of us.
But what do we remember?
The rude person who ”stole our spot,” OR the fact that the parking space three rows over where we ended up parking was actually in the shade so our car was cool when we came back from shopping, instead of baking hot in the summer sun?
”Annoying people” often test us, for a variety of reasons… but who are the people we know in our world that make our day a little bit brighter pretty much every time we see them, even if it’s not that often?
You know, those people who make us think to ourselves (even if they are far, far away) ”in some other version of the world we’d be perfect neighbors, closest of friends or scorching lovers!” And then we feel a moment of gratitude, because ultimately LOVE is a lot more powerful than LAMENT.
But do we remember to stop and express gratitude for their loving acts? For the small ways in which our lives are better?
Thanks for stopping by, and have a great week ahead!
How about you? Are you quick to complain, when something is wrong? Or do you take it in stride? Do you actually express gratitude for the small things/acts that make your life better? Leave a comment if you feel so inclined — share your experiences — be part of the conversation!
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Created at 2024.08.12 01:34PDT
x820/2054
Oh this is just SPOT ON :) And I am definitely not exempt from doing this either, lol - though you already know that... :D
I think in many instances the issue is actually control. Or lack thereof really. Humans hate not having control of circumstances, things - even people. This is one of our greatest downfalls in my opinion. If we were not all so hell bent on controlling the outcome of stuff all the time, then so much of what we consider "wrong" or to have "wronged us" would not even be of any consequence, and yes we would be quite happy with the parking bay in the shade :)
A "let it be" attitude, I am finding is a whole lot more conducive to peace in my life, lol. I cannot say I always win that battle, but the intention is there, so there is a consciousness about it and thats a start in the right direction... right?! :D lol.
Oh, I know we can kvetch with the best of them, hun! But there's usually good reason!
Yeah, you're right... there's a control issue there. But most stuff isn't actually someone's "fault," right? Rain is just water falling from the sky... good if your garden is parched, less good if you're having an outdoor dinner party. But it's just perspective...
Maybe it's just part of the aging process, but I have gotten a lot better at just letting things be. How important are they, really?
it’s easy to get so wrapped up in what is wrong that we forget/overlook what’s right.
This is so true...
It's always a temptation, I think... we just need to be mindful when we feel the urge arise and perhaps ask ourselves "Is it REALLY important to complain about this?"
Asking questions about' our deeds' is the first stage!
You are really on the a way of becoming 'Sane zen Monk' I think...:)
Thank you, friend!
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