When a Grinch soul needs the light

As holidays approach there is a joyful panic in the air as everybody is agitated. I find it interesting to observe and I can't help but wonder: why is this maddening race happening? Why during Christmas people turn on a switch and become buzzing bees, like the end of the world is coming?

I am sorry if I sound like a Grinch, but one has to ponder why all the fuss. As I finished my walk in the woods, the utter silence fell nice on my shoulders. The houses are decorated with small lights. Some of them. Are those who do not adorn their house for the holidays a Grinch? Are they lonely? Are they sad? Or they simply do not care?

We have a full year to live our life. Every single day is a new opportunity. I can't help but wonder why we should not give each other gifts throughout the year? What stops you from decorating your house with lights whenever you choose? What if you would indulge and eat the best food regularly? I feel that many people cut their lifestyle in half most of the times and when holidays come they finally allow themselves to splurge on goodies. Is this a mindset of scarcity or abundance? Are we celebrating the end of the year by creating an illusion?

I think of those who never felt truly joyful on holidays. Those like me, who do not understand the concept behind the conglomerate of decorations and the piles of food. The consumerism created by this event.I feel that many people feel the same but are too afraid to say it because they would look like such a Grinch. When the family is gathering around the table, how many things are left unsaid? How many families cover their wounds with food, decorated trees and loud TV? One might say: let's forget about the quarrels for one day and reunite. But isn't this a false band aid ? What happens with those relationships throughout the year? Healing can't be done 1 week per year, pretending to hide everything ( under the Christmas tree).

What I find to be sad is that people run all year long from themselves in numerous ways. They work too much, drink too much, eat too much, play too much. We are a society of the extremes. But we choose to feel so little! The art of conversation, the kind of "I take your hand, you take mine and we share a feeling" kind of talk is long gone. A friend can give you a like on your picture and never talk to your soul. A parent can cook you mountains of food and yet never realize and heal the wounds he created in your heart. A brother or a sister might give you a call or a random gift while the true conversation you might be wanting with them never happens. And this is happening while we all decorate Christmas trees like mad men. What if we would rush to decorate someone's heart the way we adorn our houses? What if we would choose to do this all year, not only at the end of it? What I'm trying to say is that holidays seem to transform in a show, in a putting on a spectacle . The best adorned house so all neighbours would see. The best family pictures so everybody would think that we are happy. The most expensive gifts so we would feel better for the 99% of the times when we screwed up. 1% doesn't heal a heart, it cuts it more deeply.

The irony behind the holidays is that what people are running for is inner peace and somehow they fail to get it. What a heart wants is love and peace. And you can't fool your soul with lavish decorations and fancy gifts. Your soul craves authenticity and belonging. The real deal. So while I admire the beautiful show people put on now, I can't help but wonder how sad are many of them. I realize that even if I decide not to make a Christmas tree this year that I feel more peaceful than all previous years. I am single but I feel good. It is worse to go through holidays being "alone together" or in dysfunctional relationships. I know that at this very moment when I write this many women and men go to sleep crying on the inside because they are unhappy. The house is adorned but their soul is in the dark. You see, I never thought that Christmas is about gifts and big family dinners where everybody hides what they feel. I always thought that Christmas is about the way you feel inside : are you happy ? Are you peaceful? Are you loved? Do you love yourself? When you sleep at night and the clock ticks past 12 and 2022 knocks on your door, are you genuinely looking forward to it or are you as confused as you were in 2021?

I'm aware that the majority of people would not go so deep on the matter. Doing introspection and analysing the way we evolve as a society is not on the Xmas shopping list. But it is the most important thing of the whole year! Our personal evolution as human individuals. I remember when I met years ago a woman who was of a different religion than mine and I can still have the mental memory of my reaction when she told me that they do not celebrate Christmas, that for them is a regular normal day. At that time I judged . This time....I understand. Maybe the whole point of the Christmas tree is for us to comprehend that our roots spread deeper than we think. That what we should adorn and celebrate is inside. It is the soul, the tree of our life which sits too much in the dark because we fail to look at what truly matters. I surely hope that this Christmas people will take a look inside as well and choose to put a light down there...for many it has been dark for far too long.