The Royal baby - sand sculpture

There was about to be a new member of the Royal family in England and as this project in Weymouth, England would still be in place when it happened, I was asked could I create a sculpture of how the official image would look. And try and beat the paparazzi to it.

As an Irish person, I have no interest in the Royal family. I don't dislike them, they can do their thing as long as they stop invading my bloody country. If I do have any feelings for them it is one of pity. To be born into a bloodline that gives you certain supernatural powers might sound pretty cool but that comes at the expense of having to live your life in a goldfish bowl. Like some sort of dystopian Truman Show.

Face-off

If you have been following my blog for the last few years you may know that creating portraits is not my thing. With that said, if I ever wanted to learn, this could have been seen as a great opportunity to practice. I was happy to take it on, what's the worst that could happen? I'd offend a whole nation that had offended mine for the last 400 years. That was a risk I was willing to take.

Royal blood

I am in no way patriotic or proud to be Irish. It just so happened that I was born here to Irish parents. It would be a bit silly if I had any pride in it. It happened, get over it. I do like my country and all the perks it gives me but I would not be waving the flag or fighting a war in its honour. But if there was ever a time when I felt anything close to pride it was when we had a Royal visit from the Queen herself. I liked the way she was welcomed with open arms and that most Irish people were happy to bury the hatchet and move on from the past.

For an Irish guy to create a sculpture welcoming the new lizard baby into the world seemed fitting.

I composed the sculpture in a way that I thought might be photogenic with the Motley crew of who I figured would show up to the proceeding. I left out Prince Charles as I didn't have enough sand for the ears.

In the background was Mother England or some such character. She was requested by the organiser and I don't know who she was from Adam. I will tell you that she was a pain in the arse to make as I had to play Twister to reach her and as you can see from her lopsided jaw I wasn't too happy with how she turned out. She even got the photoshop chop in the leading image of this post.

Core blimey

I liked the Queen, or Liz as she lets me call her. You can see the way I went for a sketchy approach with my carving. She was a bit rough but don't tell her that.

Prince Philip stands behind. I know it looks like he is riding the Queen jockey-back style. Even though Liz is 95 I believe she still would be well capable.

My favourite character or caricature was William. For me, he gave the best resemblance to the person. Making teeth in a sculpture is usually something to be avoided however with him it was necessary. The Royals head to teeth ratio is always something to marvel at.

I was also happy with the child and baby. The tenderness and connection of firstborn son George was quite nice. As for the baby, it looks nothing like Charlotte who was finally born on the 2nd of May just days before my own son. You will have to forgive me. I contacted Buckingham palace for some ultrasound images as source material but it was not forthcoming.

The royal seal arf arf!

Overall I was happy with the sculpture. The composition was quite nice even with the banner I placed in front for support and that weird Romanesque woman at the back.

My biggest regret of the project was that I didn't get to carve animals as the other sculptors did in the rest of the exhibition and that I did not get to meet Sir David Attenborough who paid a visit a month or two later. He is my sort of Royalty and I would have liked him to see me making something other than these creatures.

To my English readers. I hope I didn't offend you or your human Gods.