Life is not always as it seems || The constant battle between Mind and Self || @kharlynn

Do I look okay?

Have you ever heard the saying, "Life is not always as it seems"? Has there ever been a time when you think twice about what it really means? Why does life have its own mask? "Surface level" typically refers to the measurement or assessment of something at its most superficial or shallow aspect, without delving into deeper layers or complexities. "Happiness" is defined in the dictionary as a state of being characterized by feelings of contentment, pleasure, joy, satisfaction, or well-being. "Sadness" is defined in the dictionary as an emotional state characterized by feelings of sorrow, grief, unhappiness, or disappointment. Where am I going with this? Well, one can ooze out Euphoric signals. Constant laughter and smiles. Yet that may only be Surface level. One may seem happy on the outside but is disheartened on the inside. But who am I to talk about this very sensitive topic?

Exhibit A. "Person A" is very muscular and jolly. Saying that "Person A" likes to smile and laugh a lot would be an understatement. "Person A" was also a cab driver who often joked around with the passengers on board. "Person A" loves to listen to music, especially to the band Scorpion. "Person A" would sing along with the tunes on the radio like it was karaoke. Oh did I mention, that "Person A" was also a retired Military who had endless stories of the past? "Person A" would go hours and hours and hours just to finish a story about how they would fight over little things. "Person A" would get along with neighbors very well. "Person A" was only one call away to those in need. Without a second thought, without hesitation. Who would have thought that "Person A" was dealing with a disease that would pain him for the rest of his life? Who would have thought that "Person A" was making people delighted while "Person A" was suffering? Who would have thought that behind those accommodating smiles and that jolly demeanor was a gloomy, anguished, and tired individual? "Person A" could not take it anymore. "Person A" got tired. "Person A" wanted it all to stop. So "Person A" thought about how to stop the pain without burdening other people. So "Person A" decided to cut the thread himself. An unexpected turn of events. It still pains me to remember that "Person A" happens to be dear to my heart. "Person A" happens to be my late grandfather. A topic so sensitive. Who am I to talk about it? Right?

I have every right to talk about it. Not only have I seen it take one of my most beloved family away from me. But I am experiencing it first hand myself. Life is not easy. It is remarkably difficult. It is exceedingly demanding. Life asks you for so much that I don't even know what to give it anymore. "If it was easy then everybody would be doing it". I get what that saying means but who would have ever thought that it would be this hard? I am beyond grateful for the life that I am given. But I don't even know how I got to this point. I don't even know how I survive each day and not think about following along with my grandfather. I could name a hundred reasons why I should stop right now. But then God gives me a million reasons to keep going. Last time I checked, a million beats a hundred ten times over. One of the million reasons God has sent me is the people around me. They are the reason I endure. They are the reason I persevere through everything. So don't waste the opportunity of life. Be there for someone. Who knows, you are the reason they still cling to the thread of life. With all that being said, that is the reason I have every right to talk about Mental Health issues.