What should I do with my painful feelings? Should I give them space, or do something else?
Throughout the last 7 months, we have been following the life of a six-year-old boy who got a tumor in his brain. I didn't know him, but I got frequent updates from my wife about what was going on with him. Then, a couple of weeks ago I remember my wife came and told me one evening that he was getting worse (once again), and I got this feeling on my inside - he is about to die very soon. I have had the same feeling one time earlier as I visited a person in the hospital that had been fighting cancer for a long time. Normally we would be speaking and praying, and then I would leave with my wife and just say goodbye. But, that time, I told her - I will see you later... and I have a feeling that both she and I did know that when I said it this time, it was not about meeting in the hospital again, but about meeting in the eternity. I somehow knew this was the end.
And that is also what I felt when my wife told me about the latest report about the six-year-old boy.
I was lying in bed just looking at the ceiling. It was painful. I didn't know what to do.
And that is when I remember telling my wife. It would be easy for me to calm down. I would just need to jump out of bed and go to my computer, and I would be able to distract myself from the painful feelings!
Source: Pixabay
And then came Christian Eriksen
I love football and I was (of course) watching the match between Denmark and Finland. But, then suddenly everything changed. Christian Eriksen collapsed on the field, players were running to his aid, then came the doctor, the players covered Christian Eriksen so that the cameras wouldn't see what was going on. The players were crying, the wife of Christian Eriksen came onto the ground and was comforted by Kasper Schmeichel and Simen Kjar, and it all became so unreal. It was painful to watch. Was a football player going to die in front of 20,000 spectators in Copenhagen and millions of TV viewers, including myself? Watching the pain of the players, the audience... it was devastating. And I felt it on my inside once again. It was painful! It was dreadful.
The Danish team lost the match later that evening, but I am convinced that losing a match in an international tournament has never meant so little. The Danish team won! The Danish were the victors! They got their friend back (his heart stopped and the doctor had to use a defibrillator to get him back), and in such a situation, who cares about losing or winning against Finland?
But, what should I do with my painful feelings?
But, the real topic here was... what should I do with those painful feelings? Should I let them in and actually feel the pain and maybe be unable to sleep for some hours? Or would it be better to escape those feelings and play a computer game or just watch crypto charts instead?
Life isn't always easy, and I do know that you need to allow pain and suffering into your heart as well.
What do you do in such situations? How do you deal with pain, suffering, and similar feelings?
Greetings @unbiasedwriter no doubt "Life is not always easy, and I know you must also allow pain and suffering to enter your heart" is a phrase loaded with a lot of reality and sometimes unexpected moments come to remind us how short and fragile life can be. Thank you for your contribution
Going through painful moments is inevitable in life, and sometimes we can get to feel when we have to separate from a loved one, it has happened to me and it is the heart who warns you. In those moments I think we have to pray a lot and let our feelings flow in order to overcome the moment and move forward.
hello @unbiasedwriter,
One of the things I believe is that in life you have to be as empathetic as possible and it is normal to feel anguish for the things we see every day, but what is not normal is to feel pain for those things we have no control over, life has its own dynamics and this usually does not adapt to our lives as they say "give me the patience to accept what I must accept and give me the courage to act on what I must act on" then let me see the difference.
It is inevitable to feel or have these types of feelings, while I was reading about the child I also felt pain, I would lie to you if it wasn't so, when we are parents we know what it is like to have a sick child and when someone even if I don't know them has a sick child it also gives me that feeling of pain knowing that I can't do anything.
the only way not to feel anything is if we don't have blood in our veins.
When I am hit with uncertainty I try to take a step back and actually feel the pain in my head. Imo this is the one of best way to cope with such situation. Taking a step back lets you analyze the circumstance you are in and you will eventually realize that there are people in this world that have situations worse than you.
@tipu curate 5
Thanks for the thought... but tipu still doesn't want to tip my posts here, so I guess you can give it to someone else! :)
Give it to me! hahahaha! (I couldn't help saying it, sorry)
We can't have it all smooth in life, there are days when some really painful feelings will surface and we may be completely helpless about doing anything about it, it is just best not to allow the painful feelings get the best part of us as we try to get busy with some other things that will take the terrible feelings away.
The case of ekrisen really touched me and in just a moment, I discovered we need to show love to our loved ones because no one can even predict what will happen next second
In relation to pain, you just learn to deal with it, as simple as that. There is no formula for it, you just learn from what happens, assume that situation and carry it as best you can, give the best as a person and human being. If the situation is something very close to you, you can give "light" to that person while he/she lives, giving him/her pleasant moments while understanding that "that is the best we can do". I had a cousin who died of cancer at the age of 12, very unfortunate because she died in the "flower" of life.
Commented by @hojaraskita
The feeling of pain, that one that you can't do anything about hurts, I still remember before a month I guess, when the war between Palestine and Israel started and since I live in the country that's just next to them then I must see the news everywhere, I was scared of what would happen next but that's not actually the problem, the problem was the pain inside my heart seeing brutally killed children almost every minute each night, it really hurts but at last I decided to take time off from social media so I won't be seeing the news every day and start concentrating again on my life.